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I've also been told in the past that meaningless sex is a cure-all for any and all sexual issues.  

Hmmm...off to cook, knit and engage in meaningless sexual encounters...

"a funny side"...What fucking nerve. (((Velmur)))

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  • 2 weeks later...

Haha, I got another one:

I was at my Doctor's (a very weird woman who I only see when I need her to state I was sick and couldn't go to uni...which normally only happens at the beginning of a semester when I need to justify why I wasn't there for the 1st session to prevent myself from not getting into the course)

So I had a cold and a slight ear infection, nothing bad but enough for a note for a week (she actually asked if one week was enough hehe)

As I was already at a doc's I figured I could ask her for a sleeping pill script as i don't want to look stupid renewing it at the same doc's all the time.

She asked me if I still had sleeping problems and that freaked me out a bit b/c I thought I had only been there with exaggerated colds or migraines but apprently I must have told her about a year ago or so.

She then said it looked like a depression to which I just said I was already diagnosed w/ that and that I'm in treatment and she asked if I knew where this came from.

I made the BIG mistake of saying that I have been raped (don't know why...I guess just because I can) which lead to a lot of nonsensical questions and even more nonsensical statements which unfortunately were too weird to keep them all in mind for your amusement.

She asked if it was a stranger or someone I knew and as it was the latter couldn't understand that I hadn't seen it coming (and doubted that as I already knew him there was no sexual interest on my side) and that of course if he couldn't get sex from me he thought he'd just need violence (gee, isn't that the most normal thing in the world???).

She asked what my therapist thought about it (if it was really rape - as we all know if it's not a stranger in the park it isn't right :oP) I had some evil fun telling her some details and asking if that wasn't pretty obvious after which she came to the conclusion "Alright, then it was real rape"

She wasn't finished yet though, but after a while I said that was something I'd rather discuss with someone who has a clue what they are talking about :oP

(I was actually tempted to ask her if she thought knitting would help, but was afraid she'd seriously answer) I did get the form in the end, but instead of a cold she diagnosed me with slight depression, generalised anxiety disorder and sleeping disorders not otherwise specified...and of course I should come back if I need help. Good to know you're in the hands of an expert :oP

It only hit me when I got out and lit a cigarette, still chuckling, how devastating this could have been for someone else...or me a few months ago, but right now I just find it hilarious. hope you get a laugh out of it too :o)


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Gotta love the experts. ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine, really nice guy, but completely clueless. I told him about it, and he gave me (sarcasm on) the BEST advice EVER! (sarcasm off) he said "That's really bad, but you should just forget it now. You have Jared now." I know he was trying to be helpful, but really, how clueless can you get? (sarcasm back on) I mean, forgetting is just SOOOOO easy. All you have to do is cook some chinese, and then knit a sweater, and then you won't remember a thing! (sarcasm off) I really am over here laughing my @$$ off over this. ;)

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when i told a friend (9th grade)

did that happen in germany?

yes why?

then it must have been foreigners, a german man would never do something like that

(ever heard about the holocaust stupid #######? yes all germans are innocent)

my therapist when i was 15 and told about the r*pe where i was 9:


are u sure at least one man put his p*nis in ur v*gina? it was no r*pe otherwise.

(yes sure i asked what they where using in the moment....)

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OK, this really wasn't hurtful, but it's plenty stupid.  I recently wrote a loooong letter to a friend in another state, and told her a little bit about the rapes (sans details)and about my healing - what progress I'd made, what I was working on, etc.

Her response?

"I'm sorry that happened to you" was sounding pretty good, until she tacked on "but at least you're over it now.  I really don't want to think about that.  Wouldn't it be best if we just forget about it?"

Ummmm....Okaaaaay.  WTF?!  Nice of her to notify me that I'm "over" it...


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I can't believe that T... Sheesh, I wouldn't see him anymore if I were you. It doesn't matter if they used their p*n*s or not, it was still rape. That man was completely clueless.


If she'd rather forget about it, then tell her to come over and fix a chinese dinner together, that would make everything better. ;)

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((((((((((Thelastunicorn))))))))))) and to ((((((Everyone here)))))))))) I am so sorry people can be so mean.  

Me: my boyfriend raped me.

My now ex-friend:  A boyfriend CAN'T rape you.

Oh, good I thought I had been raped when I begged him not to have sex with me and cried as he did it.  People are so unbelievable.  I can't believe people don't know a boyfrind or husband can rape you.

((((((Dani))))) I have had that excuse too.  Opps!! it went in the wrong hole.  That hurt soooo much.  I will never forget the pain.

Take care everyone.


(Edited by casper at 9:27 pm on April 20, 2003)

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Of the few people I've told about the rape most of them have given me some very stupid comments.

1. Thing that annoys me most is when your around people who feel they need to inform you of the brave kick-ass things THEY would have done in your situation(kick them in the balls, scream so loud someone would HAVE to hear them, bite them) .  Get a clue people!

2. A friend of mine when I first told him: "Well, your not the only rape victim I know." Good to know, thanks.

3. Counceler: "I've never actually been raped, but i speak to so many young women like yourself I know what your going through."  Well, I for one will sleep easier knowing I'm in your capable understanding hands.

4. This is the one that makes me laugh.  Someone once told me that just because I was raped that doesn't mean I should feel like a trollop. Yes, they actually used the word TROLLOP.  The things people say.

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hows this for a corker then.

I go to T and im not allowed to leave on my own because of my SI so i need someone to pick me up. I asked my dad to and he wass fine with it then i had this cono with his arsehole girlfriend.

AHG- well you dont really need to go to therapy for that it was so long ago. You can just come and talk to me my sister was abused so i know al about it. Obviously her abuse was much much worse than yours.

hey thats great isnt it wish someone had told me earlier that I dont need T anymore because it was so long ago. ( is 9 years ago that long? )And great im sooooooooo going to talk to you about it you stupid cow.

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  • 1 month later...

A close male friend and I went in to talk with my pastor to find out why he essentially (but politely, of course) refused to help me at all when I first called him and told him what had happened and wanted to see if he could recommend a therapist or something.  His first stupid unbelievable comment was to me on the phone telling me that if I had really wanted help I should have reported it to the police.  His second stupid comment -- to both G. and I -- was that he reacted that way because he thought maybe I just got myself into a situation that got out of hand, that if I had REALLY been raped, I would have reported it.

(Yeah,right... submit myself to hours of horrible questions from police that would have resulted in nothing anyway since all I saw was his shirt, his knife, and his d*ck...)

No, I have not been back to this idiot's church, and have no plans to ever go back.


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good, he doesnt deserve to have you in his presence.

people in such positions should know better.  but alas, no one is immune from fuckwit syndrome.

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I told a friend a couple weeks ago about what Kyle did to me, and she seemed supportive. Then, yesterday, she informs me that there is a big get-together planned, and I was invited, and she tried to get ahold of him, but couldn't reach him. (Lucky for me, she's not smart enough to use a phone book.) I said that was a good thing, because if she had gotten ahold of him, I wouldn't be going. She actually asked why!!! I said "Don't you remember what I told you?" "About what?" "Okay, This is the person who raped me." (I told her a couple weeks ago, before I had a label for it.) "Oh, well, you told me that he abused you, but you didn't tell me he RAPED you! Wow, I guess you wouldn't want to see him again, huh?"

Yes, because if it was "just abuse" I would be perfectly okay with seeing him. :P

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When I told my friend Ana about what happened, I described how he put a pillow over my face. She just looked at me skeptically and then said, "how long does it take for a person to suffocate?". So I said "about 3 minutes I think" and she said "hmmm, I thought it was a lot faster than that". I have no idea what her point was, the only thing I can think of is that she was trying to catch me out - like if he really had put a pillow over my face I would be dead so I must be lying! Sheesh...

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Me and my friend had the same think on a tank and shorts we were outside with 2 other guys who our like brothers to us and she goes you dont need to be wearing that and i go you have the same thing on an then she says well people know all about you and know im not like that it made me MAD!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Aaaand...the 'Stupid Comment of the Day' award for today goes to my mother.

We were talking about abusive, controlling relatioinships (and no, she doesn't realize that my ex was abusive - we were talking about a friend and her relationship) and my mom says..."I will NEVER LET anyone do that to me."

Oh, yeah, 'cause it's really just a matter of 'letting' or 'not letting' it happen.  BTW, Mom, thanks for reminding me of one of the reasons I don't ever want to tell you.



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wow....soo many idiotic people in the world, another reminder of why i'm scared to say anything. Ok, well this stupid comment wasn't directed at me, but upset me jsut the same. My mom was telling me about how this guy i know, we'll call him dave, raped his 2 (9 and 11 year old) adopted sisters. He confessed to it and everything, so it's not even a matter of whether or not he did it....and yet the entire community is on his side....he was convicted, his only punishment, 10 years parole *grrr* stupid comment # 1) Those girls are so flirty and seductive (oh right, i'm SOOO sure, i guess they were just asking for it then, those evil little girls) stupid comment # 2) it's soo awful that dave's life is ruined now (HIS life is ruined...ACK) How can someone actually allow those words to come out of their mouth, have they no brain?!?!?!?!

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A friend told me "you need to stop beating yourself up over mistakes you made in the past."

um... what?  having been r*ped was somehow a mistake I made?  plus, apparently, I just need to get over it.

The saddest thing is that until he made that remark, I really thought he understood, that he "got it."  *sigh*  I hate disclosing 'cause I hate losing friends.

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  • 2 weeks later...

dang, where do i start . . .

"you wear black underwear"  (but i dont wear see-thru clothes so he could see)


this was from my friend : "you're so lucky.  i wish i was raped" (she has rape fantasies, which is fine, but i didnt appreciate her calling me "lucky" )

"if you didnt refuse him, he wouldnt have had to do that" (i didnt know WHAT to think about this one)

"that'll teach you to drink"  (on of the reasons i dont go to church)

"what you did was a sin in the eyes of God.  Satan made you seduce that nice young man into doing this to him.  what you did wasnt rape.  it was just the work of that harlot Lilith that every young lady has within her.  she just shows herself more strongly in you"  (the rape that I did?!  Satan made me do it?!  i quit going to church because the lady made it all MY fault and tried to make it seem like i ruined his life.  she didnt know i had the little pocket tape recorder in my pocket just in case she said something like this)

"calling something a 'rape' is just a woman's way to correct a mistake she made the night before"  (i was really p!ss3d about this one)

"if you have sex, you arent a virgin.  just because you were raped doesnt mean anything.  sex is sex.  guys dont want a 'false virgin' you know"  (this is what a friend told me after i told her what had happened to me)

"why do you want to ruin his life?"  (oh, i'm sorry.  i should really apologize to that nice young man)

"dont flatter yourself.  nobody would want to touch YOU!"  (this really affected me because i was only 10, and my grandmother told this to me)

this was what a friend of mine (a so-called "Christian" ) said after we saw a news report of a little girl who was raped in San Diego by an illegal alien (this really hit home with me) : "God only punishes those who deserve it.  that girl must not have prayed enough"  (oh, yes, 6-year-old girls are so evil that God must punish them in such horrible ways)

i could go on and on with the stupid comments i've heard, but it would be like 907183791 pages



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My husband recently, after reading all the details of my abuse in my journal without my permission:

"I really thought you were a virgin when we got married."


My mom calling me on the phone to get my opinion on a child my sister was babysitting whom they thought may possibly be abused:

(sarcastic voice) "I thought I'd call and ask your opinion about this, since you're the big EXPERT on this subject!"

My mother in law a few years ago, after I was afraid to tour a house for sale alone with a male realtor:

(exasperated, scolding tone) "Tasha, you really have a hang up about men.  You need to get over that kind of thing and being afraid, you need to get a thicker skin."

And of course my dear best friend Terry, the first time I attempted to tell anyone about my abuse:

"I don't want to hear this."

:)  Ain't it fun, kids?  LOL.  This is why sharing is soooooooo much freaking fun.

(Edited by natasha at 7:45 pm on July 3, 2003)

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Oh gosh... I have so many, but I'll just name a few.

- I was telling one of my male friends that knew about the rape about how I was starting therapy next week because I have been having flashbacks and nightmares, and the past couple months had been really depressing for me. He looked at me and told me that he was depressed too... I looked at him, as if something terrible happened, and asked him what was wrong.  He told me that last week he went on 3 dates with 3 different girls, and none of them called him back!!!! ........what a f*ucking friend!!!

-I was watching a movie with my best friend when a graphic rape scene came on.  I immediately got up and left the room, went outside to get some fresh air. I was shaking all over.  She came outside about 15 minutes later and asked me if I was okay.  I told her I felt nauseous.  She said, "Why don't you just go throw-up?  You'll feel better, and then we can finish watching the movie." Yeah, sure... let me go throw up, and then all of my memories will be flushed down the toilet along with my vomit!!! ... aren't friends just so amazing!!!???  

- I told my boyfriend about the rape a couple weeks after in happened... after a 3 year relationship, he immediately dumps me and tells me that he doesn't think that he will ever be able to look at me the same way again.  He said to me, "Forced or not... it was still sex."

And that's EXACTLY why I kept it to myself as long as I did!!!!!!!!!!!!  What idiots!!!

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for all of those stuped comments...it really stinks that people can be so unsensitive at times :P

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Guest golden lady

"Forced or not, it was still sex."


And he didn't have sex before your relationship? Suuuuuuuure.

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Yep! Those were his exact words too! Sounds like a wonderful guy, doesn't he????????????  Just thinking about him saying that makes me want to vomit!

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