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Pandora's Aquarium is not a substitute for professional assistance.
We offer peer-to-peer support only. We encourage every guest and member to work with a trained counselor or psychiatrist, and if you are in crisis you will be referred to resources
that can provide you the help you need and deserve.

Pandora's Aquarium Community Guidelines
Last edited: March 2022


General Community Rules | Posting RulesChat Rules | Staff Responses

General Community Rules

1. Membership:

  • You must be 16 years of age or older to utilize this online support community. Public forums can be viewed by anyone, but private forums and posting privileges are limited to survivors of rape, sexual violence, and other forms of sexual abuse. Secondary survivors are limited to the public forums and Healing Together.
  • Each person is allowed only one active user account. If you wish to have a name change, please PM the moderators who can easily do this for you. Opening more than one account, especially for the purpose of deceiving other members, may result in being banned. If you have had an account here in the past, please contact us prior to registering on admin@pandys.org so that we can try to recover your existing account. 
  • Only one person may use each account. Do not allow others to read the board, post, PM, or chat using your account.
  • Members with DID can have only one account, and only the host can post/chat. More information about our DID policy can be found here.

2. New Membership:

Members are considered new members for the first 30 days of membership.  Some restrictions are placed on new membership to ensure that Pandy's remains a safe space for all:

  • The first 10 posts require approval from site moderators.  This protects the site from spam, and helps us provide guidance to new members about some of the sensitivities involved in posting here.
  • Access to the private messaging (PM) system is granted after New Members become Members.  Please be aware that PM messages ARE periodically monitored by the board moderators and that PM privileges (and membership) can be revoked if members are violating board guidelines and/or endangering other members via the PM system.  Additionally, if you are ever made uncomfortable by PMs that you receive on Pandys, please do not hesitate to reach out to any board moderator for assistance. If you require assistance from a moderator during this time period, the help desk is available here: https://pandys.org/forums/index.php?/forum/165-help-desk/
  • Protected areas of the forum (subforums that are additionally pw-protected) are not available until after the first 10 posts.  A few of these protected areas require full membership (i.e. are not available until after the first 30 days): These areas are: DV, RA, DID.  Note that 30 days is a minimum requirement for access to these areas, due to the extreme sensitivity of these areas.  Access may not be granted until members have spent some consistent time on the forum posting in other areas first.

3. All decisions regarding editing/locking/deleting threads, member accounts, and the suspension/banning of members will be made by the moderators. Such decisions are unified, final, and not open to discussion.

4. Do not abuse the PM or board email function. Using the system for mass solicitation or to spam, harass, or threaten another member is prohibited. Do not send triggering information to another member without prior invitation to share that content.  Develop a relationship first

5. Treat board and all moderators with respect. Staff members are survivors as well. Direct or indirect mistreatment of moderators is not permitted.

6. Be responsible for your own safety. Personal information such as address, phone number, and full name should not be shared via this message board. See this thread for more information on keeping yourself safe.

7. Use of this board is limited to participation in peer support. More information can be found here and in the Terms of Service.

8. Leaving the community? See further down for information.

9. Protected areas: New Members will need their first 10 posts approved by Moderators. To access the chat room, you need to read through the chat guidelines and follow the procedure to request access that is outlined there.

10. Research requests MUST be approved. We recognize that research can play an important role in understanding how best to serve rape and sexual abuse survivors. We permit research requests only after they have been approved by staff, and requests can only be posted in the Research forum. Survivors may not be approached by PM or email. 

Posting Rules

  1. Be respectful of different ways of healing and care about each other. We are all survivors of something. Some things might anger you and you might want to disagree. Please remember that everyone who posts here is a person and deserves to be treated as such. If a post has you angry or triggered, please take a moment to relax before replying, instead of lashing out. Not everyone heals in the same way.

  2. Post new threads in the correct forum. Moderators may move posts to the proper forum.

  3. Mark triggering posts with a *T*. Topics that may be triggering to other members and may need a warning include posts that contain your story, descriptions of violence or weapons; discussions about self-injury, eating disorders, religion or suicidal feelings; and so on. However, we all need to keep in mind that much of what you see on this board will be triggering. Please keep safe and take responsibility for your own reactions when warranted.

  4. Do not post:

  • Harassing posts, or threats.
  • Discriminatory posts. Posts that are of direct or general insult to any particular person, gender, gender identity, sexuality, religion, race, or nationality will be edited, locked or deleted. Please click here for clarification on posts of a religious nature. For more information on our anti-discrimination policy, click here

  • Political posts. Political conversations on Pandy’s need to be avoided. We are first and always a forum dedicated to healing from sexual violence.  Of course current events will impact us, but because there are so many of us with different political opinions, we must keep a safe and neutral zone here for all our wonderful members of all political persuasions.  If you wish to discuss political issues, there are many political forums set up online to support that conversation.  You can also discuss the survivorship issues with your therapist in a safe place. We must keep Pandy's balanced and politics free zone to keep it safe for all members.

  • Threads saying "you weren't there for me/the board isn't doing enough for me." If a post implies that the members of this board have not done enough, that post will be closed or deleted. Pandora's Aquarium stresses personal responsibility.

  • Suicide notes or good-bye letters (because of suicide)

  • Negative posts about this or other message boards/survivor communities. If you have concerns with the operation of Pandora's Aquarium, please PM a board moderator. You can discuss issues from other forums without using names, URLs, or other identifying information.

  • Problems with other members. For more information on resolving and reporting problems with other members, please see this notice.

  • Threads for another person or hugs/dedication threads.

  • Inappropriate photographs, images, or videos.

  • Any identifying information, including photos or the full name of your perpetrator or abuser, unless he or she has been convicted of the crime you are accusing. If your perpetrator has been convicted, you must provide the staff with proof of the conviction before posting his or her full name or any identifying information. Contact the board moderators for more information.

  • Discussion about illegal activities. You may not use the board, including the email or PM services, to discuss illegal activities you or anyone else are contemplating or have committed, whether past, present, or future. 

  • Intentions to undertake risky activities.

  • Seeking medical advice. The board and its members are not in a position to respond to medical queries - please always seek advice from a qualified professional about any medical issues you may have. This applies to those seeking traditional or alternative treatment paths.

  • If your ability to post coherently is affected by drugs / alcohol, and refrain from stating in posts that you are under the influence of drugs / alcohol.

  • Posts advertising or recommending professional services or resources may be removed or edited at the moderating team's discretion. This includes books or other created products as well as any sort of "Go Fund Me" style project.  

  1. Avoid the following:

  • Swearing in post titles and status updates. Swearing within posts is permitted. A warning to others is appreciated.

  • Colored text in forum posts, writing in all caps or in alternating upper and lower case. These can be hard on the eyes and make it difficult for those with vision impairment to read.

  • Animated avatars. Please limit your avatar choices to static, or non-moving, avatars only.

  • Signature graphics. Signatures should not be larger than two inches, and one image is permitted only if it is standard "emoticon"-sized or smaller. No tickers, countdowns, etc. Contact a moderator if you are unsure if your signature complies with this rule.

  • Animated graphics. Please avoid the use of large and/or animated graphics/emoticons within posts. 

  • Videos or pictures aren't permitted in your posts.  You can use links to YouTube videos if they are only the link and not the video.  

  1. Copyrighted material: Include a link to the source when posting copyrighted text. This includes text from other websites, newspapers, or online articles. Either use the quote code or make it obvious that you are quoting material not your own.

  2. Erased posts will be deleted. You can edit the texts of your post; click here for more information.

  3. Soliciting direct donations MUST go through moderators

  4. Weight, body size, and calories.

  5. Specific descriptions of self injury or eating disorder behaviours will be edited. Please refer to the self injury forum guidelines for more details on how to post about these issues.

  6. All debates will be removed as they go against the ethos of the board which is support.  Moderators have the discretion to determine what constitutes a debate.

  7. Moderators may use discretion in dealing with other posts that are questionable.

  8. Duplicate Posts.

Members develop the practice of placing content in the most appropriate forum to encourage other members to be able to read and respond.  Content should not be placed in multiple forums.  Such duplicate postings is considered spamming and will be removed.  It will be up to the administrative staff discretion which post is left in place and which will be deleted. 

Staff Responses

To ensure the safety of this board and its members, there may be consequences to not following board rules. We will typically respond in the following manner:

  1. For rules affecting board organization, the moderators will simply correct the problem. For instance, we may move a thread or add a trigger warning. You may or may not be notified of the change.

  2. For guidelines that do not affect board safety, you will be PMed and reminded of the guideline. For instance, if you have a large signature picture, you'll be asked to remove it or if the picture is a moving image the moderator will remove it and send you a PM.  If you post something that might be construed as an intention to attempt suicide, a moderator will remove that portion of your post and PM you to check in.

  3. For guidelines that affect board safety, we will proceed in the following manner: First, you will be warned. Second, your account may be temporarily suspended or your posting privileges reduced. For a third offence, you will unfortunately be banned. In rare circumstances where board safety is compromised and a warning is not appropriate or possible, a ban may be put under place immediately. This is highly unusual and typically affects only "trolls" who seem to have come here to cause trouble or do damage.

If you have come here only to hurt others, you will be banned and reported. IP addresses are logged and viewable by moderators, so you may be reported to your ISP if we feel it is necessary.

These rules are subject to change; when possible, notice of changes will be made in the announcements forum.

***This board is not to be used in place of professional counseling or therapy. We are not professionals; we are survivors who can support one another through the healing process.***

Additional Clarification

DID policy:

We recognise that different parts of a DID/OSDD system may need to reach out here for support in their healing from sexual abuse, and they are welcome to do so as long as they are 16+ and do not openly state that they are a different part from the one who signed up for membership here

Moderators reserve the right to edit and delete posts in order to preserve the overall safety of our membership.

Specifics, such as names, ages, and physical descriptions are to be avoided. However members can talk about inner parts without going into such specific details. They can also talk about soothing activities inner parts found comforting, and about balancing the needs of different parts. 

Some examples of what is not allowed:

  • I have a 4 year old part named Callie who is very petite with long blonde hair. 

  • Callie says hi! She needs to know someone is listening. 

Some examples of what is allowed:

  • I have a young part who is scared to share memories of abuse. 

  • My young part needs to feel heard. They want to feel safe. 

id="docs-internal-guid-f2cc2875-7fff-45e8-d88e-49cf7b62a76c">We understand how confusing it can be to know what is/isn't allowed and hope this helps some. Unfortunately, many posts are simply left to the board moderating team's best judgement. Edits are never made in anger or to punish. You can always share your post in the Help Desk or through PM to any Board Moderator and we'll be glad to read it before you've posted.

Safety/sharing info:

We strongly discourage you from sharing any personal information via this online community, and Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. assumes no liability if you choose to divulge this information. It is not acceptable to pressure another member into giving out personal information, including mailing addresses, email addresses, phone numbers, and instant messenger screen names. Under no circumstances may a member share the personal information of another member. For more information on safety, see this thread.

Where Partners/Spouses /Other Family Members/ Other Close Relationships are Also Members  

Members here are fully entitled to support in their healing from sexual violence, however we realize we have some management concerns when it comes to “relationships.”

We have many types of relationships on Pandy’s.  Partnerships and spousal relationships, friendships, roommates, family relationships of all types, other close relationships and in many of these relationships there will be conflicts and often rupture and a dissolution of the connection in real life.  Even if the relationships remain solid, we never want the nature of the relationship to be known on Pandy’s and to that end we have some rigid guidelines about anonymity for everyone’s protection.  

  • When discussing your relationship, you cannot mention that your relationship-partner is a member here.

  • We cannot permit members who are/have been in any type of relationship with another member to mention that person by real name or username in a post here.  Don’t use initials because it’s too easy to guess who you mean.   

  • Further, you are not permitted to reply to each other's posts. It can prove too inflammatory, and cause disruption across the forum.  Please respect these boundaries.

  • You may also wish to block your partner/ex-partner/person of conflict here, which will prevent you from seeing their posts.

  • If the relationship dissolves, Pandy’s staff will not take sides about who is right or wrong.  Both members will be expected to keep all discussions and conflict OFF the forum and deal with that loss in therapy.  Members will not be able to even obliquely discuss the loss or conflict on Pandy’s in any format or in any forum.

  • This discussion of relationship conflict can also include any members who make friends on Pandy’s and then “break-up” and have conflict later.  Protect yourself and your anonymity carefully.

  • We expect household members to disclose relationships to the Board moderators when joining Pandy's so the guidelines can be discussed and agreed to in advance. 

    • Failure to do so may result in accounts being closed or placed on moderation.

    • The same may be true for those who have relationships that fall into conflict and the members do not manage the conflict appropriately. 

    • Membership at Pandy's is at-will and may be terminated for failing to abide by any of the guidelines or the Terms of Service.

  • Pandora's Aquarium is to be used for peer support only:

You may not access, read, copy, or otherwise reproduce, transmit, or communicate any portion of Pandora's Aquarium for other purposes. Pandora's Aquarium is a copyrighted entity and as such any information posted on the forums becomes copyrighted as well.  This is a safe place for adult members to confidentially discuss ongoing abuse. However, it should be noted that in situations where a minor (a person under age 18) is disclosing ongoing abuse, the board moderators may report the information provided to and collected by pandys.org to protective services. The law requires such reports of abuse in some situations in order to protect children. Moderators will use their discretion in reporting other situations involving minors. If you think abuse must be reported to authorities, contact a moderator. Please see the Terms of Service for more information. Or this for information on mandated reporting.

Leaving the board:

If you decide to leave the board, you may certainly inform other members by posting. However, posts blaming other members or moderators for your decision to leave will be deleted and your account may be banned. Pandora's Aquarium stresses that each survivor is ultimately responsible for him or herself.

If a member posts that he or she is leaving the board indefinitely, his or her account will be placed on inactive guest status and will lose access to the private forums (your posts and messages will not be deleted). If you decide at some point that you would like to return, you can contact the moderators at admin@pandys.org and request reinstatement of your account.

If you inform us that you are leaving the board, we will set your account to inactive status unless you specifically request that it is deleted. We reserve the right to deny requests for account deletion.

See this thread for more information.

Relationship violence:

You will notice that we have a forum for people experiencing relationship violence, or those who have experienced it in the past. This board exists as a safe haven for them to speak about their experiences, fears and doubts in a non-judgmental environment. We hope it goes without saying that you will refrain from blaming or judging survivors of domestic violence. If a survivor of domestic violence has children, it is unhelpful and unsupportive to demand they take action for "the sake of the children", or indeed that their current inability to do so is in any way negligent of their children' needs. Please resist the urge to impose your ideas about what somebody should or must do. There are gentle ways of offering suggestions for change, but please be attuned to what the survivor is asking for - perhaps it isn't advice, but all he/she needs right now is somebody to break the silence to.


We encourage religious diversity on the board, as well as people who embrace no faith. You may discuss how your religious belief has assisted you in healing - we have a Spirituality forum for this. However, you may not bash other religions, "proselytize", that is, try and convert people to your religion, or condemn as "sinful" other member's lifestyles or choices such as homosexuality, abortion or sex outside of marriage. When you state your beliefs, own them as yours rather than making blanket statements - for example we have had problems in the past with people registering to tell members that if they "turn to Jesus" all their problems will be resolved. We respect that this has worked for you, but you must respect that this is not true for everybody. Importantly, please do not offer to pray for somebody unless prayer is requested.

Members must also be free to discuss harm done to them by religion, and they must not be answered with hostile defences of the religion to which you adhere. That said, if you wish to discuss harm by a religion, you need to do so without making negative blanket statements about the religion as a whole. If you are an atheist, please refrain from derogatory comments about religion.

Suicidal ideation/notes:

If you are thinking of suicide, please call the police, a local hotline, or RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE). We understand that everyone isn't always in a happy mood, and you can definitely post about how you're feeling, but that does not include suicide notes (or posts that could be interpreted as suicide notes). Most of the people here are not trained professionals. While we want to help you through your difficult times, the feeling of helplessness that comes with reading someone's suicide note online is incredible. Please seek help from someone who can help to keep you safe. In situations where a member expresses clear and imminent suicidal ideation, the moderators of this board may report the information provided to and collected by pandys.org to local authorities. For more information on our suicide policy, and for resources, please read more here.

Posting for Others - Hugs/dedication threads:

Pandy's has always been a community of fantastic support and the hugs/dedications threads are a demonstration of just how supportive members here are. However we have to ask that posts asking for support on behalf of other members are no longer started on the board.

While we appreciate that these threads are well-meaning, there have been concerns that some members may feel left out or hurt if they don't get a thread posted for them and that new members may get the impression that the board is cliquey. There are also worries that some members may not be comfortable having posts dedicated to them without their consent.

In the event of extenuating circumstances that prevent a member posting for themselves (i.e. unexpected loss of internet access), please seek permission from the moderating team to post on that member's behalf to let people on the board know they are okay. These threads are intended to be FYI only in style and are not a place to seek ongoing support for the member in their absence. Threads started for another member without moderator permission will be removed by the moderating team.

The focus of the board has always been to encourage members to learn to use their own voice to ask for the support that they feel they want and need. Please feel free to continue to reach out to people via pm or in response to posts that members start for themselves. For additional information, please see this thread.

Media Sharing


Images - including screenshots - are limited to the Gallery, Fun and Survivor Creativity forums, on status updates and on members blogs. Images posted will be removed by the moderating team if they are overtly triggering or graphic.  Please be sensitive to the needs of other survivors when posting images in your gallery or elsewhere. 

Images on status updates need to be accompanied by words and the image needs to reflect those words.

Images shared in blogs need to be related directly to the members healing journey, for example collage work and other art/images which relate to the written post. 

Wherever possible, attribute the source of the image so you are not violating copyright.  If you are the creator of the image, understand that you are posting on a website with public access and that Pandy's is a copyrighted website.   

You may only post pictures here on Pandy's of other people with their permission, so this will be in limited circumstances. This includes your profile picture.

Please remember that you may not post pictures of children at any time.

All posted images must be appropriate for a large audience of survivors of many ages. You may not post photographs of your abuser unless he or she has been convicted of the crime he or she perpetrated against you. In this case, please contact a moderator before posting any photographs. To protect Pandora's Aquarium from liability, you will need to provide evidence that your perpetrator has been convicted and that the photograph you are submitting is of the person who was convicted.


You may post entertainment-related videos or clips, such as music, animals, etc. within the Entertainment forum. As with images, please keep copyright in mind and reference the source in your description on the video.  These must be appropriate for all ages and should not be triggering. Please provide a written description of the clip you've linked to. Please seek moderator approval for any clip that may be potentially triggering by sending a member of the moderating team the link. Members should be aware that moderators have not reviewed each video and watch them at their own risk, although we will make every reasonable effort to remove inappropriate videos swiftly.

On the rest of the board:

If the video is healing-related and on topic, a link to the video may be shared elsewhere on the board. Please describe in words the video you are sharing a link to.

We have members accessing the board through assistive technology for visual impairment - following the theme of discussion in a thread when using this software can be very difficult when members are sharing Youtube clips and images rather than actually speaking to one another.

Images, Videos or clips that are posted outside of these guidelines will be removed by the moderating team - but please do not hesitate to ask a Board Moderator for help if you are unsure, or cannot get a video to upload here correctly. Moderators can be reached by a message or via the Help Desk.

Risk-taking activities:

We understand that risk-taking is something many survivors have felt the urge towards, or have done in the past (for example, risky sexual or drug-taking behaviors). It is okay to post that we have considered it or that it holds a certain amount of appeal. We can also post about past situations, but it is not okay to post about imminent situations; that leaves the rest of the board feeling very powerless. For clarification, see this thread.

Erasing your own posts:

If you erase your post, please edit the subject line to read *deleted* as well so that members do not spend time trying to read a thread that's been erased. If you erase the first thread in a topic, the whole topic will be removed. However, we retain copies of the replies so those can be PMed to you at your request.

Appeal for fundraising for charities or organizations:

Posts seeking support for fundraising must be approved by the moderating team before a post is made. Approval will be given for members to post an appeal where the fundraising is directed to a charity or organisation which provides services, resources, or otherwise has healing benefit for survivors of sexual violence (or for raising awareness of, or preventing, sexual violence). A member seeking approval should provide the moderating team with information to verify that the fundraising is for an identifiable purpose (for example, a link to their fundraising page, or to the organisation's site which contains information about the appeal). All fundraising efforts that have not been approved by the moderating team will be immediately deleted.

Numbers and weight:

Except within the password protected Body and Fitness subforum. Within that forum, healthy and achievable weight-related goals and milestones may be posted with numbers. However, since the Body and Fitness subforum is health and wellness oriented, moderators may use their discretion when editing weight-related posts that seem to diverge from that goal.

Asking for medical advice

Our definition of medical advice includes traditional and alternative therapies, including all medication, treatments and supplements. Please ensure you abide the following guidelines regarding asking for medical advice:

Asking for a medical opinion: It is not permissible to ask members for a medical opinion on the board or in the chat room--even if that member claims to be a medical professional. This means that it is not appropriate to ask members to comment on the seriousness or cause of any symptoms you may have, ask them to suggest a diagnosis, or comment on a potential or actual treatment. Similarly, it is not appropriate for any member to argue for or against a certain medical treatment or to suggest an alternative treatment to that which the member in question is taking.

Asking for information: If you want to know more about a medical condition we encourage you to talk to a qualified medical professional. It is not okay to ask members to explain a medical diagnosis or treatment, or to offer such explanations yourself. However, you are allowed to post on the board to find other members who have similar diagnoses to you and to discuss coping strategies, or how the diagnosis affects you and your healing. Keep in mind that members on this board can only provide you with peer support, and not medical advice.

Providing information which allows members to infer conclusions regarding their own medical conditions/treatments: While it is permissible for you to talk about your diagnoses and treatments, it is not permissible to provide information in such a way that allows other members to infer medical information. For example, while you may say that you take a certain medication(s), you cannot state the dosage or frequency of this medication. We do this for two reasons: one, members offering you support do not need to know this information; and two, other members on similar medication(s) to you could potentially believe it would be safe to alter their own medication dosages to the levels you are taking, without seeking professional medical advice. Each patient's situation is unique, and the only person qualified to make medical decisions for a member is a professional who knows the patient's case history and diagnosis.


Members have much more latitude about what is permissible to post in blogs, since your blog is your own private space to express yourself. When blogging, we ask that you refrain from using your blog to discuss:

a. suicidal intentions

b. criminal activities

c. details that will identify your perp

d. negative feelings about Pandy's board and staff members

Please note that we want you to be able to use your blog as your own healing journal, so we allow more expressive freedom in the blog section, but we do reserve the right to ask people to edit or set entries to invisible. In particular, we ask you to be understanding if we need to ask you to edit/set to invisible entries with graphic descriptions of self injury and graphic descriptions of eating disordered behaviour.


Members may do no advertising of any sort, including advertisement of blogs or of publications, video, without specific board moderator approval.  It is difficult to imagine a circumstance where approval will be provided. The focus of Pandora's Aquarium should be on individual healing and the path towards individual healing. If you wish to advertise your website, blog, or publications do so off of the Pandora's Aquarium website. We do not wish to see links to websites, blogs, or book links in signatures, in the gallery, or in the blog system.  

The only exception to this is one we've given for blogs and websites on healing journeys created by a member.  The font should be small, in the usual Pandy's type-face and members are reminded to be aware that Pandora's Aquarium doesn't check these links to external sites.  

In this Ban on Advertising we are continuing our stance against any type of advertising for the sale of any good or service and any type of fundraising.  These have never been permitted and they are still not permitted in any fashion, in any location on Pandora's Aquarium.  

This does not change the poetry, art, or music submissions in Survivor Creativity forum. We do not want any publications noting book publications regardless of whether they are self-published, formal publications or journal publications in Survivor Creativity or anywhere else on the forum. The moderating team will continue to support research study publication in the Research and Activism forum as appropriate. ( advertising updated June 30, 2021)

Note: The minimum age requirement was raised from 13 to 16 on March 5, 2009. Minors under the age of 16 who registered prior to this change may retain their accounts. Those who register on or after this date must be 16 years of age or older.

Pandora's Project is committed to providing free or low-cost services to all survivors of sexual violence, regardless of race, gender, color, cultural heritage, national origin, religion, age, sexual orientation, marital status, physical or mental disability, political affiliation, or source of income.

Your use of the Pandora's Aquarium online support community constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service.

To reach the administrators of this board, email admin@pandys.org or pandora.goodrobot@gmail.com, Director of Pandora's Aquarium, Patricia.  

© Pandora's Aquarium 2022 (all rights reserved). Do NOT copy any part of this post for use on your own forum or for private use without express permission from us. To use our text without permission is a violation of the law.



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Forum Terms & Rules

Because of the nature of this website, you must be 16 (sixteen) years of age or older to be granted access.

Your registration will be manually approved by a moderator. This process can take up to twenty-four hours, but usually occurs more quickly.

If you are registering and previously had an account here, please email us admin@pandys.org before proceeding. We will try to locate your old account for you. Members are only permitted ONE account on Pandys’.

Pandora's Aquarium is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium offers survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are encouraged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center.

By continuing to register, posting, or reading the message board, you agree to abide by the Terms of Service and Board Guidelines. You agree to read the above two links prior to registering and posting. The Terms of Service is also pasted below for your convenience. Your continued use of the message forum and chat room signifies your acceptance of these Terms of Service and Guidelines, which are subject to change without notice.




The following are terms and conditions for registration, membership and use of the services provided by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., located at the URL www.pandys.org.

You must READ, FULLY UNDERSTAND and AGREE to all terms and conditions before entering into this Agreement and prior to registration. By using the board, I warrant that I have read, fully understand, and agree to the terms herein.



In consideration of being permitted to access www.pandys.org ("Web Site"), use the Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. message board ("Board") and otherwise enjoy the services of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., I warrant that:

* I am at least 18 years of age and that I possess the legal right and capacity to enter into this Agreement and to use this Web Site in accordance with the terms of this Agreement and I agree to the following Terms and Conditions of this Agreement.


* I am 16 or 17 years of age and I have obtained permission from my parent or legal guardian to use the Internet to access websites of the same type and nature as this Web Site, including those that contain adult material.

Because of the nature of this Web Site, I understand that Pandora's Aquarium does not accept memberships to any area of the site from anyone who is under sixteen years of age.


(1) Agreement Survives Incapacity. This is a durable Agreement, and I agree that it will survive and remain in effect despite any impairment of my mental capacity, incapacity or incompetence subsequent to my initial acceptance of all terms.

(2) Agreement Supercedes All Others. This Agreement embodies the entire agreement between myself and Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and is the full and final expression of the intent of the parties with respect to the subject matter herein. This Agreement supersedes any other agreement, written or oral, in regards to the specific items covered by this Agreement, between Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and any individual, and any and all prior, contemporaneous or future representations, conditions, warranties, understandings, negotiations, discussions, proposals, communications or previous agreements between the any individual and Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., or an Agent of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.; and shall prevail notwithstanding any variance with any other agreement

(3) Web Site Use Subject to Terms and Conditions. By accessing, viewing, reading, downloading or otherwise using this Web Site, I agree to the Terms and Conditions of this Agreement.

(4) Agreement Terms and Conditions Subject to Change. I understand that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc reserves the right to change these terms and conditions, guidelines and disclaimers at any time and without notice, and assumes no liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of errors, omissions or discrepancies. 


I have been put on notice that internet activities of this type and nature, including, but not limited to sharing non-identifying personal information about myself, exchanging messages over the internet, and accessing internet sites with similar content may constitute an inherently dangerous activity.

(1) Subject Matter of Web Site. I agree that I have been put on notice that subjects discussed on the Web Site may affect me psychologically and emotionally, and may result in extreme emotional distress. I understand that use of the Web Site (i) may result in or exacerbate psychological disorders, syndromes and symptoms; (ii) may cause injury or otherwise be detrimental to my physical and mental health; (iii) may cause emotional, financial, social, marital, physical or other injury, including but not limited to death; and (iv) other harm and injury.

I acknowledge that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. provides peer-support only. I understand that I will not receive psychological, medical, or legal advice through my use of this website. I agree that I will not use this Web Site as a substitute for professional services, and I understand that if I am in a crisis situation I will be referred to resources provided by trained individuals best suited to help me.

(2) Disclosing Identifying Information Prohibited. I understand that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. prohibits me from exchanging any identifying information about myself through, on or in connection with Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. I understand that sharing or exchanging any identifying information about myself, including, but not limited to my full name, email address, street address, city and state, phone number, place of employment and internet protocol ("IP") address with other users of this Web Site is an inherently dangerous activity and I assume all risks associated with such disclosure.



Some material on this Web Site may be considered adult oriented and/or sexually explicit, and is related to material of an adult nature. Access is made available only to those who accept the following terms.

By accepting this agreement, I certify the following:




I am at least 18 years of age, or have attained the legal age of majority in my jurisdiction, and I have the legal right to possess adult material in my community.





I am 16 or 17 years old, or otherwise below the age of majority in my jurisdiction, but

I have obtained permission from my parent or legal guardian


(2) I understand the jurisdiction, standards and laws of the community, site and computer to which I am transporting this material, and am solely responsible for my actions.

(3) If I use these services in violation of the above agreement, I understand I may be in violation of local and/or federal laws and am solely responsible for my actions.

(4) By logging on, I release and discharge Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents from any and all liability which might arise.

(5) I understand that bookmarking to a page on this Web Site whereby this warning page is by-passed shall constitute an implicit acceptance of the foregoing terms set forth here.


The terms of this release are contractual and not a mere recital. By agreeing to this release, I am agreeing that I cannot hold Pandora's Aquarium responsible for any injury that occurs as a result of this Web Site.

(1) General Release of Liability

In consideration of being permitted to access and use this Web Site, and on behalf of myself and my personal representatives, heirs, and next of kin, I release, waive, discharge and agree not to sue Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., its officers, directors, trustees and Moderators (hereinafter "Agents" or "Releasees"), from all liability to myself or to my personal representatives, assigns, heirs and next of kin for all loss or damage, and any claim or damage, on account of injury to my person or property or resulting in my death, whether caused by the negligence of Releasees or otherwise while I am accessing, viewing, reading or otherwise using the Web Site.

I agree to indemnify Releasees and each of them from any loss, liability, damage or cost releasees may incur due to my use of the Web Site, whether caused by the negligence of the Releasees or otherwise. I assume full responsibility for and risk of bodily injury, death or property damage due to negligence of Releasees or otherwise while I am accessing, viewing, reading or otherwise using the Web Site.

I agree that this release, waiver, and indemnity agreement is intended to be as broad and inclusive as permitted by the laws of the State of Minnesota and that if any portion of the agreement is held invalid, it is agreed that the balance will, notwithstanding, continue in full legal force and effect.

Being of lawful age, in consideration of being permitted to access and use this Web Site, I do for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators, and assigns, release and forever discharge Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., its Agents and their heirs, administrators, and executors of and from any and every claim, demand, action or right of action, of whatsoever kind or nature, either in law or in equity arising from or by reason of any bodily injury or personal injuries known or unknown, death and/or property damage resulting or to result from any accident which may occur as a result of my use of this Web Site or any activities in connection with Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., whether by negligence or not.

I explicitly agree that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents may recover expenses incurred in defending any suit, including reasonable attorneys' fees and costs.

(2) Indemnity for Defamation

I agree that I will not publish potentially defamatory material anywhere on the Web Site. I understand that, among other things, this provision prohibits me from posting material such as the name, likeness, or identifying information about any individual, including but not limited to my rapist/abuser, unless there has been a prior criminal conviction of this individual, in which case I may only reveal information that is part of the trial record and legally considered to be in the public domain. I assume all liability for such disclosures covered in this provision, and agree to indemnify Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., and its Agents for any defamatory statements, photographs, recordings, or other electronic postings that I cause to be published on the Board.


(1) No Professional Services, Representations or Warranties

I agree that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., and its Agents do not hold themselves out to offer or provide any kind of expert or professional training or knowledge in connection with Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. Agents make no warranties of fitness or quality of the content of any writings, threads, posts, emails, statements, private messages or other communications, nor are they under any obligation to monitor the Board, chat service, blogs, or other communications on the Web Site.

I understand that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents make no representations, warranties, or guarantees concerning the safety or therapeutic value of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and in no case will my use of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychiatric, psychological or other licensed therapeutic treatment.

I understand that nothing contained within, posted on or communicated through Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will be considered professional legal advice. Acceptance of this term certifies my waiver of any legal right that I may have to take action with respect to any loss arising from or in connection with my reliance on any information that is in any way related to law. Under no circumstances will any attorney-client relationship be established, implied, construed or assumed on my part. I agree not to rely or act on any advice posted without first consulting a legal professional. By accepting the terms of this Agreement, I agree to indemnify Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents, and any legal firms, from any claim in negligence or intentional tort, contract or action under state or federal legislation for loss to myself, any company that I am employed by or act as an agent for, and/or any other injury or loss that I may claim to have been caused by using Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. or from relying on advice from this Web Site or received via email, post and/or by any other means.

(2) No Confidential or Fiduciary Relationship

I agree that no confidential or fiduciary relationship has been, is or will be created by my registration and membership on Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. In no case shall the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. be held liable for revealing the contents of any writing, post or communication that I post on Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. My posts, private messages and any information that I publish on Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. are not privileged or confidential.

Staff are under no obligation to monitor posts or private messages ("PMs") sent via board and chat software. However, they reserve the right to do so and will access database information when they, in their sole discretion, deem it necessary for the safety of individuals or the integrity of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.

(3) No Warranty as to Information

I understand that the materials and information I find on Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. are provided "as is," without warranty of any kind, either express or implied, including without limitation any warranty for information, services, or advice provided through or in connection with Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and any implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, expectation of privacy or non-infringement.

(4) Non-endorsement

I understand that the views and opinions of authors published on this site do not necessarily reflect those of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. Reference to any specific commercial products, processes, or services by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. Nor shall any information or statements contained on this Web Site be used for the purposes of advertising, or to imply an endorsement or recommendation.

With respect to content available on this Web Site, neither Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., nor any of its Agents make any warranty, express or implied, including but not limited to the warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. Further, neither Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. nor any of its Agents assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, apparatus, product or process disclosed; nor do they represent that its use would not infringe privately owned rights.

(5) No Warranty of Service.

I agree that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents make no representations or warranties regarding the availability, speed, reliability or continued existence of any portion of the Web Site or Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.

(6) No Responsibility for Links, Emails.

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. contains links to sites which are not maintained by the named corporation or Web Site owner. While Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will try to include only links to those sites which are in good taste and safe for our visitors, under no circumstance will Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. or its Agents be held responsible or liable for the content of those sites and cannot guarantee that sites will not change without our knowledge, and inclusion of such links does not imply endorsement by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. of the linked or framed sites or their content. Under no circumstances will email or instant messenger exchanges between present or former users of the Web Site be considered to be under the jurisdiction or control of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. or its Agents, except emails sent from the domain pandys.org (@pandys.org), which will be indemnified under all provisions of this agreement.


I warrant that I am registering for and will use Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., for the sole purpose of participation in peer support in the recovery of sexual violence under the terms and conditions of this Agreement. I warrant that I am not registering for, and will not access, read, copy or otherwise reproduce, transmit or communicate any portion of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. for other purposes, including, but not limited to: illegal or immoral activities; harassment of any individual; or gathering information for use in connection with criminal defense, including all stages of trial, depositions, settlement conferences, negotiations, investigations, informal meetings, or any other related activity, of any defendant, accused or alleged perpetrator of a sex crime. I further warrant that I will not use the services provided by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. to make posts or communications that are harassing, defamatory, false, or illegal in nature.

I agree that use of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. for any improper purpose will constitute a breach of this agreement. Should I breach this provision of the Agreement, I stipulate that the damage caused to the support structure and nature of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., being difficult to ascertain, will be measured in the amount of $75,001. I further agree that if Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. or its Agents, in their sole discretion, determine that I have used the Website for any improper purpose or have otherwise breached this Agreement, my IP address or other information gathered by my use of this Web Site may, in the sole discretion of the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., be reported to police, law enforcement, or other appropriate authorities or individuals. I agree that this provision may be waived only by obtaining written permission from a majority of members of the Board of Directors of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.

Nothing in this provision constitutes a representation of a right to confidentiality conflicting with section V.(2) of this Agreement.


(1) Information Collection. When I access the Web Site, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will learn certain information about me during my visit. How Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will handle information depends upon what I do when visiting the Web Site. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., does not sell or trade personal information such as my email address.

If I visit the Web Site to read, post, or download information on our pages, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will collect and store the following information about me:

(a) My registered member name;

(b) My IP address;

©The date and time I access the Web Site; and

(d) Any communications I make using the message board or chat room provided by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.

(2) Web Site Security. For site security purposes and to ensure that this service remains available to all users, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. uses third-party software programs to monitor network traffic to identify unauthorized attempts to register, post, upload or change information, or otherwise cause damage. Additionally, to improve the information, display, and marketing of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., the third-party programs collect information including: the Internet address of the web site I use to link directly to the Web Site; the search engine and keyword search I used to link to the Web Site; the type of internet browser, screen resolution and internet connection speed I utilized during my visit; and the country from which I accessed the site. With the exception of my IP address, these logs are not personally identifiable.

If Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., or its Agents or Moderators, in its sole discretion, determine me to be in violation of this Agreement, my IP address and other information the Web Site has gathered about me may, in the sole discretion of the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., be used to report my to my Internet Service Provider, local authorities, or other individuals, and Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., reserves the right to disclose information as required by law or in accordance with this Agreement.

(3) Search Engine Indexing. My presence and/or activity on the Web Site may be indexed by third party search engines, such as Google and Yahoo. Although Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. employs software to prevent search engine bots from indexing private forums or user information, search engines may index some public forums or public areas of the site. My username may be collected by a search engine bot in this manner. However, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., attempts where possible to eliminate this and the collection of personal data such as my e-mail address and IP address. I am encouraged to choose a username which does not identify me.

(4) Cookies. I warrant that I have been given notice of privacy concerns due to the fact that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. uses "cookies," which means that Pandora's Aquarium will place a file on my computer that keeps track of my login details. On most computers, the Web Site address will appear in the "history" or cache, or on the drop down menu of recently visited sites on my browser. If, when logging into Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., I can choose "Yes" in answer to the question "Remember my log in details?" and I will be automatically logged in again when I, or anyone else using my computer, visits the Web Site.

(5) Minors. I understand that if I am under the age of 18, and I disclose that I am being physically, mentally, or sexually abused, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., may, in its sole discretion, use the information the Website has collected or information I have provided to report the abuse to police, law enforcement, or other authorities. However, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., its Agents and its Moderators are under no obligation to monitor the communications of minors, nor report any alleged or suspected abuse.

(6) Disclosure of Private Information. I understand that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. may share, with appropriate authorities including law enforcement, the information the Web Site has collected or information I have provided if authorized by this Privacy Policy or Section VI of this Agreement; if required to do so by law; and/or if the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. determine, in their sole discretion, that I pose a significant risk of serious injury or death to myself or to another person. However, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents are under no obligation to monitor my communications, nor report any alleged or suspected risk. I acknowledge that crisis support resources can be found here and here, and that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. does not provide crisis support.

(7) Children's Online Privacy Protection Act Policy. I understand that the internet is a public place. Any information that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., collects when I register for any Pandora's Aquarium service (message board or chatrooms) will not be traded or sold to any third party. Because of the nature of communication through the internet, I understand that Pandora's Aquarium does not accept memberships to any area of the site from anyone who is under sixteen years of age. If Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., finds that a member is under the age of 16 their membership will be immediately rendered inactive until parental permission is obtained. This is in compliance with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act. 


(1) Ownership of Web Site Material. Except for the material specifically identified in section (3) of this provision, Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. will own the exclusive rights to and in the Web Site Material, including, but not limited to, all United States and International copyrights and other intellectual property rights.

The contents of the Web Site pages, including, but not limited to text, graphics, and icons, are copyrighted materials owned or controlled by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and contain Pandora's Aquarium, Inc'.s name, trademarks, service marks, and trade names. I understand that I may download one copy of these materials on any single computer and print a copy of the materials for my personal use. No other permission is granted to me to print, copy, reproduce, distribute, transmit, upload, download, store, display in public, alter, or modify these materials. No permission is granted here to me to use Pandora's Aquarium, Inc.'s icons, site address, or other means to hyperlink other Internet sites with any page in the Web Site. I understand that Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. assumes no responsibility for any other party's site hyperlinked to the Web Site or in which any part of the Web Site has been hyperlinked.

(2) Waiver of Moral Rights. To the extent that I have any moral rights or similar rights in the material that I post to the Web Site, under the law of any jurisdiction, I waive those rights. I waive any right to have the material attributed to me or to prevent the material from being modified, edited, transformed, or otherwise adapted as Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., and its Agents may deem necessary.

(3) Excluded Material. The Web Site Materials created by Invision Power Services, Inc., including the Invisionboard technology, are excluded from section (1) of this provision. Graphics and board "skins" created by third parties are also excluded from section (1) with their copyright remaining intact.


The provisions of this Agreement and all suits and special proceedings under it be construed in accordance with and under and pursuant to the laws of the State of Minnesota. In any action, special proceeding, or other proceeding that may be brought arising out of, in connection with, or by reason of this Agreement, the laws of the State of Minnesota shall be applicable and shall govern to the exclusion of the law of any other forum, without regard to the jurisdiction in which any action or special proceeding may be instituted. The parties acknowledge, agree in, and submit themselves to the jurisdiction of the courts of the State of Minnesota for the present and the future with regard to the subject matter of the agreement in any and all other matters between the parties.

In any subsequent dispute, all provisions of this Agreement will be construed in the favor of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. and its Agents.


I agree not to plead the statute of limitations as a defense to any payment that may become due under this contract, and waive the statute of limitations as to any and all claims that may accrue under this contract.


This agreement is an electronic contract is a signed writing for purposes of the Statute of Frauds. However, I agree not to raise the statute of frauds as a defense in a dispute over the enforceability of this Agreement.


(1) I agree that my access and use of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is subject to the terms of this Agreement AND the sole discretion of the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. I agree that my membership and use of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is AT-WILL, and that my membership may be terminated at any time and for any reason by the Agents of Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. I agree to abide by all decisions of the Moderators regarding my use, access and membership on the Web Site, including restriction, changes or revocation of my membership.

(2) I agree that if my membership is permanently revoked for any or no reason, I will not make any attempt to re-register or otherwise obtain access to Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. I agree that violation of this provision will be considered and construed as illegal computer hacking, conversion and misappropriation of electronic resources, and that I will be strictly liable in the amount of $50 per hour for any time lost by Pandora's Aquarium, Inc., or its Agents in connection with my violation of this provision.


I have read and agree to the whole of the above Agreement, and state that no representation, promise, or agreement not expressed in this Agreement has been made to induce me to enter into it.








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