rubberbandball Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Made by my mother, when I told her that I had recently (14 years post assault) contacted and was getting help thru the YWCA Rape Crisis Center, "Why? The crisis is over." Rubberbandball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cheshire kat's tears Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 The most hurtful and stupidest thing ever said to me was by my 1st therapist. " don't believe you were raped. People who are raped are not quiet and shy." He then went on an abusive lecture which included him yelling at me that I "didn't belong in therapy, you belong in an asylum. All you want is attention." yadda yadda yadda....then proceded to ask me "did his penis actually enter your vagina? Did he penetrate you?" excuse me , I'm thinking, ummmm a therapist isn't supposed to be nasty is he? My parents were insistant that I kept going to him so I had to tolerate his odd form of therapy....I needed more therapy for what he said to me luckily enough-I moved to another state....and only had to deal with it over the phone once or twice-Argggh! Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandalinn82 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 The most hurtful and stupidest thing ever said to me was by my 1st therapist." don't believe you were raped. People who are raped are not quiet and shy." He then went on an abusive lecture which included him yelling at me that I "didn't belong in therapy, you belong in an asylum. All you want is attention." yadda yadda yadda....then proceded to ask me "did his penis actually enter your vagina? Did he penetrate you?" ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH Filled with rage at your T right now, I swear, did these people SKIP all their psych classes? I didn't even MAJOR in psych, just a freaking minor, and I know better than that! And thats just undergrad! WHY ARE SO MANY T'S SO AWFUL TO THE WOMEN WHO NEED THEM MOST??!?!?! Sorry, that really pissed me off. ~Manda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomeansno Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 wow, that is just ignorance. But my favorite is: "Are you sure you didn't misinterpret it" Like you can misinterpret someone torturing you, holding you captive for two weeks, and raping you. Yeah, I guess i just missed the meaning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest unlovely Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 When I told my mother that I'd been molested by my adopted brother for years (I told her much later), she said "I kind of suspected that". Oh...thanks for saying something at the time, bitch. (In her defense, she has been much more supportive since she got off the bottle) When I was attacked while in the military on base, a guy (who I now suspect was the one who drugged me) said "I guess there's more than one way to get RTU'd (returned to unit - ie, go home)" It happened the next day at breakfast, after I got out of the hospital. I used to fantasize what it would have been like to leap over the table and jam my fork in his eye. The sickest thing I ever heard was said by a Judge (WTF??? Who hires these psychos?) in Quebec who said "women are like rules, meant to be violated" Makes me want to puke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelfire Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 i tried to open up to a friend a while ago and told her that i was trying to deal with and remember what had happened. she then asked me why I was being "so self-destructive." I could not believe it- i gave up trying to justify to her why i was trying to remember and heal. actually i have completelt ystopped talking about it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victoria Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 The first person I told: Friend: Are you a virgin? Me: Nope Friend: Who;d you have sex with, your father? Me: Actually, Yes. Friend: I don't beleive you - you didn't cry when you told me that. End of Friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broken angel Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 (edited) A wise woman once said: "It's not something where you just go: 'Well, get over it.' Or, 'Believe in love and peace, my child, and it'll all be over.' Well, fuck you-That isn't the answer. It's a great thought, OK, but you can go and stick the crystals up your butt and let's get on with it. I'm all for love and peace, but that's not the side I work on. I work on the part before you get into the kitchen, right, before you make a blueberry pie, sit down and drink an herbal tea and watch the sunset. First of all, you've got to pass me in the basement with the rats." Tori rocks and this is the perfect answer to anybody out there who is stupid enough to say anything that is mentioned above. Broken Angel Edited February 10, 2005 by broken angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justaskcinderella Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 the worst response I ever got was by my father who laughed in my face when I told him ... gr8 to see I had to much parental support - Nikki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanie Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Uggggh. Stupid people piss me off! I'm sorry you all had these horrible experiences. ~Stef Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanie Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I just thought of a stupid comment... "I met a girl that was raped. Her's was a lot worse than your's because she knew the guy that raped her." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perfect_Until_That_Day Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 (edited) <_< The one comment I hate the most.... But you accepted a drink from a stranger, what did you expect? And the more recent one: "When you dress cute like that what do you expect men to want to do to you?" I know there's tons more out there....but I'll stop at that for now. ~Heid. Edited February 21, 2005 by Perfect_Until_That_Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamondintherough Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 This was said to me by my *former* best friend when I told her I was raped, "oh, but was it just date rape?" Recently, now four years since the comment, six since my rape, I told her how much that what she said, and how the use of that term offended me, she replied, "well I was just using the clinical term i.e. knowing the assailant" #1. She didn't know anything about what happened to me, let alone who the perp was. #2. Thankfully the terms have been updated, I would never describe any rape with the word "date" Nicole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRose Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I know this has been posted, but I just have to get it out. The most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me, was asking if I enjoyed it. <_< I've never wanted to be violent so badly in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brighteyes18_02 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 (edited) Conversation I had with a friend, who I am surprised I'm still friends with, I just dont talk about it with him anymore. ****May T**** Him: Why dont you like oral sex? Me: Cause of what happened with J*** and D****** Him: Did they force you to give them oral? Me: Yes Him: How could they possible enjoy that, its not like you gave them any tongue action. End of conversation. I gave him the stupidest look, just for being dumb. Men are clueless. Edited February 25, 2005 by brighteyes18_02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becca0417 Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 God....stupid things people say...where to start???! I think the worst was when my short-lived 'christian' counsellor told me that to give myself peace of mind, I must forgive my r@pist. O yes, cuz thats guna make me feel so much better...she might as well have said go up to him and thank him for what he did..its made you a better person. DUMB ARSEEEEE! My mum also asked me if i tried to fight him off. :| My friend also asks me when I'm having a bad day "why are u thinkin about that then?" like its something I can turn on and off?! Think thats about all for now..some people r clueless!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunraye Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 (edited) Yeah the "Did you enjoy it" questions always piss me off. Anyways have had a few other stupid comments made to me even recently. From a counselor: Did there ever come a point where you initiated the s*x with the perps? or was there ever at point that you began to allow him to do that bc you enjoyed it? From the same counselor: Did you ever scream or fight? (Yeah like a four year old screaming is out of the ordinary and a four year old can fight someone so much bigger off of them.) Edited April 22, 2005 by Sunraye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chy2400 Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 "I knew a lady over ten years ago, a gal I worked with, that was really physically raped." - my dad As if there is any other kind? Guess he doesn't believe that I was "really physically raped". Grrrr. "She was over it in under a year."- my dad about the same lady It has been five years since my rapes, and I didn't know what to call it until a few months ago. Guess I am taking too long for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickles4 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Not said to me, but a woman at work said this about rape charges against an athlete that has been in the news around here... "he couldn't have raped that girl... he's hot, who wouldn't want to have sex with him?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survivor Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Arghhhhhhhhh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bethmae Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 When I was discussing my raped in the break room with a co-worker who had also been raped, a male co-worker said to me, 'Who'd want to rape you, it's not like your that pretty." I wanted to hit him so much, but my co-worker beat me to it. He apologized after saying he was just trying to make a joke. I just don't know why he thought it would be funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Panchita Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 my yoga teacher: well i know some great chants that can really help let it all out, say one very morning and you'll be fine' yes, becauase cahnting chrystals and incense are going to make it *alll* ok. One of my close friends (just after i'd told her) ducks get raped all the time... I'm sorry, did i start quacking and didn't notice?? And just last night 'hahaha, that's sooo funny, that cat's about to get raped' rape, not funny now, not funny ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embly888 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 One of my friends the other day after Id had my abortion, 'well, that's one less thing to worry about anyway.' Hello????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andie Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I have heard the most stupid things after rape. One woman told me I had been disrespectful to him!!!! That I had no reason to be furious and she wouldn't tolerate it because she'd known him for a long time. One guy sexually harassed me at a job and when I reported it to the boss, the guy turned around and claimed I had done something to him and I got suspended from work for a day! He got other employees to side with him. Then there are the people who won't believe me, tell me to get over it already, to get to work and keep busy, to put it behind me. One woman told me after a date rape that she would never had let him in her house. Right, I did something wrong and caused it! One bitch said she would never "let" something like that happen to her! One guy wanted to have sex with me a week later! One time the day after the rape my "sensitive" boss fired me saying I was too spacey! <_< And then there are the ones who know what happened and pretend nothing did like it was no big deal, like I perceived it wrong, and I just need to control my anger. Oh and when my ex-husband raped me? Of course it wasn't called rape because we were married! WTF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluefairytale Posted June 5, 2005 Share Posted June 5, 2005 I can't believe people are so f****** clueless!!! I am absolutely appalled by every single one of these posts - they have made me angry for you all that I want to scream! I've heard a few dumb-ass comments in my time regarding rape etc., as I guess everyone here has. They were very similar to some of what have already been posted. The one that sticks in my head most is my ex-boyfriend, when he started getting frustrated because I wasn't ready to have sex with him: "Well isn't there some kind of 'over-ride' switch in your head that you can switch on to get past it?!" Hel-lo!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I wound up saying something like: "Umm... don't you think I'd have switched it on immediately after everything happened if there was?" Hey - if only it were that easy, huh?!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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