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Anybody else have weird triggers?


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Guest Mariceli

-hearing men yell

-men with deep voices

-if i get really tired and just let myself literally fall into

bed the sensation of falling and landing on my back

really freaks me out. i've only done that once and

that's when i found out it freaked me out.

-if i walk into a room that has light and all of a sudden

the lights go out i have to force myself not to cry. that

happened during the blackout last summer. there's

another thing--


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Look at them all :(

Insane Kate






Movies/TV Shows with R*pe Scenes And/Or Sexual Violence.

Someone coming up from behind me without my knowledge

Movies with High Level Violence

Fire Exits (esp Concrete Stairwells)

Someone holding my wrists  

Anything remotely tight around my neck.

(i.e.: Scarf’s, Necklaces, Jumpers)  

Having my hands/arms held down above my head

Being Forcibly Pinned down/Unable to move

Knives in close proximity of any part of my body

Older Males under the influence of any drug

Drunk, Older Males

Being tied-up/Restrained

Sex of a 'rough' nature

Oral Sex

Being Held Down

Photographs of me (i.e.: When younger)

Suggestions/implying suggestions to take photographs of me in a sexual manner (Yes my ex's have suggested this)

Suggestions/implying suggestions to film movies  of me in a sexual manner

News Reports about r*pe, R*pists/Child M*llestors, etc  

Small, Cramped, Dark Spaces.  (i.e.: Cupboards etc.)  

Certain brands of aftershave

Enclosed, Dark places  

People I don't know or Trust being too close to me, or trying to touch me  

Raised Fists

Guns/and or the sound of one

Being called names of a sexual nature (i.e.: whore, bitch, slut...)  

Not being able to protect my face (i.e. with my hands)

Being Referred to or having comments made about my body by Older Men

Sudden Movements Around Me When Someone Is Angry

Ambulances/Ambulance Sirens

Written depictions of Violence and/or sexual assault

My Hair Being Pulled

Being woken up from sleeping rather suddenly

Males I don't know

Being around anyone angry, even if they are not angry at me

Movement in the corner of my eye, like someone is behind me

Men about 40 years + in particular  

Someone putting their hand over my mouth to shut me up

Anyone else holding a cigarette within close proximity of my body

Large Quantities of Blood (my own or someone else’s)

Being in a remotely empty train carriage by myself

Loud footsteps behind me

Discussion Of/Girls who have/ R*pe fantasies

Rooms reminiscent of the Emergency Room In Sydney

(i.e.: same layout)

Being Yelled at

Sunday Night's 10pm (i.e.: If I am aware of this time)

Being referred to as 'Katie'  

:(  :(

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Jovan musk (he wore that all the time, and after I left him, he would spray it on my door to let me know he'd been there.)

Someone not taking no for an answer and keep pushing me to say yes.

Seeing a cop/police officer (his cop buddies kept helping him to continue abusing me and would harass and threaten me) If I'm anywhere and I see a cop, I totally spaz out.

The movies Sleeping with the Enemy and Enough trigger me very badly. Other movies with violence against women trigger me as well, but those 2 seem to be the worse. Also movies with molestation trigger me as well. I believe I was molested as a child, but I have no memories before the age of 7 except for a couple when I was 4.

Court rooms are often triggers, but not always. Sometimes I can fight it off.

Edited by thesecretme
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OK, I have a long list, but I will try to shorten it a little.  *T*  be careful...

-dog leashes(b/c that's what he tied my wrists up with)

-small areas, especially if they have shelves



-exacto knives

-French kissing

-hearing the words "Shut up"- no matter how it's said

-people that apologize and don't mean it(while he was raping me, he told me he was sorry he had to do that to me...right...)

-big belts(My uncle always beat my sis up w/ one and I would yell back at him, causing him to sexually abuse me)

-being in a room with a guy with the door locked...

-people grabbing onto me really fast.  Like at church today, I was walking really fast and a lady grabbed my arm...

-pushing of any sort, even if playful

-landing on my back

-Coke(the soda...I DO NOT do drugs...)

-dirty towels

-cool hard and smooth cement floors

-getting hugged from behind...extra *t* warning on this one- b/c I always feel like they're going to sodomize me, and it makes me panic end extra *t*

-anyone's spit

-being chased

-the "shh" motion (finger to their lips)

-comments on my face looking ugly when I cry

-blood and sweat

-his cologne- I have no idea what it was, but I smell it sometimes on other guys

-anything to do with intimacy

-when someone says I look really good in something-- makes me want to change into something I won't look good in.  My rapist told me I was cute...so...yeah...

-talking about saving sex until marriage- this one is HUGE for me because I always start sobbing b/c that was my goal and dream and it was ripped away from me before I ever even had a chance to care about anybody in that way.  It doesn't seem fair.

-people telling me that they are doing something for my own good

-older men that are nice to younger girls...even if it's just being polite to a waitress and saying "thanks"

-being called b*tch and hearing the F word

-rape jokes and movies and conversations where people say harsh and abrasive things to victims/survivors(whatever you prefer to be called)


-dark hallways

-freezing cold AC


-certain types of locks


-being hit kicked or beaten

-doctors and nurses.

-police officers


-being in a quiet room away from loud music


-yelling or fighting

well, anyways, that's it for now...I have to go, but the list goes on and on and on...

thanks wonderful thread

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just realised another one - when England play football - because it means that I know what he is doing and if they win I know he will be happy.
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big *t* warning...

In addition to a lot of the typical triggers (having hands/arms held down, oral sex, certain positions, knives, etc.):

- smooth round doorknobs

- leaning up against or laying down on a hard flat surface

- certain words (c*nt is the biggie, "beg", "tight")

- certain phrases ("do it", "suck it")

- the smell of vomit or semen

- dark green shirts

- the scent of some kind of aftershave or hair product (I don't know what it IS but I sure as hell know what it smells like!)

- someone gathering my hair in their hands

- angry black male voices

- any breeze across my genital area

- anything squirting in my mouth

- the dentist's hands in my mouth

- Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" (must have been on the car radio or something... not sure)



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Triggers - well I try to ignore them, but it doesn't work. So here goes.  *trigger warning* of course!

- the dark

- duct tape

- cable ties

- having my mouth covered

- having my head covered

- showers and showering

- bathtubs

- violets

- vibrators/dildos

- flashlights - especially if they are shined in my eyes

- thunder

- storms

- open doors

- closed doors

- my bedroom

- being anywhere with only one exit

- crowds

- clubs

- people staring

- not being able to see

- being home alone

- doing laundry

Wow, I have to stop now.



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I cannot BELIEVE I forgot bananas! Absolutely huge f*cking trigger for me. I used to love eating bananas, now I can barely stand to see someone eating one. The only way I can eat them is chopped up, or in banana bread, and even that depends on the day.

Need to get this out....******t******

I was eating a banana one day in front of my father. He says to me, "You know what it looks like you're eating?" I say, "No." "It looks like you're eating a cock." Great, thanks, dad, for fucking ruining banans for me.

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This is a fantastic thread... I have lot's of common ones too but some of my weird ones are:

chevy blazers

some kinds of country music/talk radio

anyone with really pale blue eyes

chewing tobacco

sweatpants - esp. green ones

having my head under water, even in the shower

oh, and my biggest, absolute biggest pet peeve is when people use the word rape in a totally inappropriate context (ex: we got raped in that basketball game).  I go absolutely bonkers.


Edited by Cricket
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*people pushing my back or the back of my chair

*lying on my stomach (only sometimes)

*'4th of July' by Soundgarden

*having a locked jaw

*men with long black pony tails

*seeing the top I was wearing when it happened

*seeing his photo

*seeing him or hearing his voice

*seeing men who look like him in the distance

*having sex in the same positions used by my perps (horrible)

*being touched when I'm sleeping

*being massaged

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my weird triggers:

-when i see the word sweetie or sweetheart, esp when i am called that


-crowds (like the hallways at school), i will get all panicy at times

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okay, the list that never ends, lol:

-colt45 (especially in 40oz. bottles)

-cinnamon toast crunch

-pink shirts, baby doll shoes

-peurto rican men

-gangs, especially crips

-the happy and sad drama masks symbol

-fraternity greek lettering

-dodge shadows

-old yellow vans

-x-mas specials

-hardwood floors


-d.j's, record spinning, muscle relaxers, coricidin

-Colonial Williamsburg (especially the Coke-Garrett mansion)

-the word "devil" (especially in combination with the color red)

-government housing, old plantations


-clothes left on while being intimate w/husband


-permanent markers


-emergency rooms

-red and blue cop lights

-police stations/handcuffs

-New Year's and Easter (or anything related like dyed eggs etc.)

-Happy Gilmore, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Seven


-White Zombie, Ghetto Boys, the song "Runaround" from Blues Traveler, Snoop Dog, Wyclef Jean, Green Jello

-Cypress Hill and the Fugees, although unfortunately i still LOVE them both and listen to them anyways...

-St. Pauli's girl bottles/labels

-nasty public restrooms/graffiti

yeah... lovely, eh?

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a few:

black men, young in particular, but any age.

anyone with their hair in "corn rows" or little braids

lil bow wow


sports cars playing loud music

light colored vans

dance bars

dark gray cotton underwear

the song "it's raining men"

the song "hero" by enrique blahblahblah

hotel rooms


smell of tequila

being alone, especially at night

being in a crowd

having just my top on while being intimate

anger (directed at me or not)

loud noises

the smell of alcohol on someone's breath

being blamed for something/anything

thinking i've let someone down

thinking i've offended someone

not being perfect


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Hey guys,

- watching TV with the lights out and the door locked

- sofa beds with green fabric - especially the fold out matress part of it

- candles ( any type including b'day candles)

- strawberry / blueberry scented body lotion

- The feeling of anything slimy / greasy on my hands

- boys with facial hair

- needles of any type

- the phrase " u know u want to"

- being pressured to do anything

- being abandoned / feeling helpless

- being left alone

- The movie Pirates of the Carribean

- My 17th B'day

- white ceilings

- laying on my back

- any weight on my stomach

- the choking sensation

- not being able to breathe

- not being believed

- any thing that reminds me of sex

- Michael Jackson DVD

-Con Air Movie

-McDonald's Icecream

- going anywhere with guy by myself

- Nikki

Edited by Nikki cutie pie
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I know this question might sound silly but can someone explain triggers?  I know there are some things that I don't like--that remind me of my abuse or scare me for some reason.

-men sitting too close to me

-being alone with a man

-people hugging me/touching me in general (unless I've told them it's okay)

-the word facial

-silver SATURN VUEs

-people having sex on t.v./in movies

-being naked

-shaving my bikini area

-the smell of his cologne

-Nautica/Ralph Lauren clothing

-pot (eventhough I still smoke it...i know, weird)

-someone touching my hip

-grabbing me from behind


-giving oral sex

-being asked to be more vocal during sex

I have looked at this thread for a while and clicked on it for the first time today.  I have always tried to ignore the fact that some things scare me or remind me of abuse/him.  It was hard to write out this list but I know it's helpful...and now I have something new to talk about with my therapist.

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I suddenly realized how many triggers I actually have- and fight against on a DAILY basis- great topic, it helps to lay it on the table.

My WEIRDer triggers (There are all to many list):

-        dark blue/green old style Ford F-150’s

-        Old (squareish) red SUV’s

-        Certain roads/towns

-        Roofers

-        Fighting, boxing, wrestling of any kind- even friendly, even when it doesn’t involve me

-        Dark, or deep set eyes (eyes that just have that look)

-        ALL males around my age

-        Bud light- bottles/ the sound of bottles

-        Foosball tables

-        Anything moving by my head

-        Someone standing close enough behind me to feel them, hear their breathing

-        A guys arm around my neck, shoulders (even in a friendly, from behind hug)

-        Sloppy kissing, slobber on my neck

-        The backs of hands, fists- directed towards me or not

-        Red sheets

-        Cats (sadly, esp. kittens)

-        Walking on a dirt road on a chilly night with no jacket

-        the number 11

-        my old cell phone

-        being near anyone angry- even if its not at me

-        being touched- even non-sexual contact

-        upsetting people, angering them, messing up

-        small pasta shells with plain sauce

-        cuts on my fingers from tin can lids

-        being pinned, over powered

-        my arms being held, wrists

-        boat marinas at night, the inside cabins of motor boats

-        Sticks / tree branches

-        Guys arms and hands in general

-        The bright lighting of an ER- tile reflective floors, smell

-        Stall showers with a plastic door

-        Bowling

-        Jeep Cherokees

-        Drive in movie theatre

-        Magic markers snapped together (cap-end)

-        Saying “please stop” for any reason to anyone

-        Hearing “trust me” “I know you want it” “touch it” “I’m not going to hurt you” “Come on” and others...

-        A certain type of laugh

-        A certain grin

-        Weight on me other than blankets

-        Shirts that slip off one shoulder, or having one shoulder bare, or a tear on the left shoulder

-        The male parts... (that ones not that abnormal)

-        barb wire tattoos around the bicep

-        wide board, dark wood floors and ceilings/ creaky floors

I'll stop there. the list goes on and on forever- I'm just a big ball of panic and fear right now, lol!


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Okay, please bear with me.  I haven't verbalized any of this in years...

I'm hoping it will help to be here and do this.

Most of the triggers I'm finding in reading here are actually quite common.  (Maybe I'm not as odd as I thought.)  Nothing really causes actual flashbacks anymore, just the emotions. Which are mine?

* Anyone touching/stroking my hair

* Steak knives

*Coveralls, especially orange, but any color, really

*People whispering in my ear, especially ffom behind


*Driving dark, winding highways/roadways

*Men that grab my arm or wrist with any kind of force, especially if they don't let go

*Anything to do with artificial lubricants, including advertisements

*The post office, any post office, at night

Okay, enough for now.  Thank you for listening.

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1. The band They Might Be Giants.

2. Sometimes, the band Radiohead (which is unfortunate, because they are one of my favorite bands).

3. The band Wilco.

4. Men under 30 who are overweight.

5. Male professors or TA's.

6. Being told what I like.

7. The sound AOL Instant Messenger (Aim) makes when you get an instant message.

8. His first name, and a certain word which is the same as his last name.

9. Feeling like my mouth or teeth are dirty.

10. Men who talk about barely legal celebrities, etc.

1. Music by The Strokes (they used to be one of my favorite bands).

2. Walking by the concert hall where the concert was.

3. Indie rock guys in their early twenties.

4. Men standing or walking close behind me.

5. Men passing me quickly from behind while I'm walking.

6. Loud, sudden noises.

7. A packed crowd in an enclosed area.

8. Seeing gum in someone's hair.

9. Feeling like my hair is dirty or tangled.

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--men in overcoats

--the sound of dishes clanking together

--the presence of anyone behind me

--the smell of cigar smoke

--when i'm brushing my teeth and have to brush my tounge...that's the absolute worst feeling...i gag almost everytime

--the smell of irish spring soap

--men i see who chew on their nails

--the sound of the ocean, looking at the ocean at night when noone is on the beach.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Biting Diamonds

I don't know how weird these are but some of my triggers are:

*the smell of smoke/pot

*the summer

*the "R" word

*if somebody tries to play with my hair (one of the worst ones)

*when people whisper into my ear

*if a boy tries to make a move or even if I suspect that he'll make a move (not so bad anymore)

*if I find myself attracked to someone, or if I start to trust them

  Chelsea, biting diamonds

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I have some weird ones.

*Someone standing to close behind me

*Laying down with nothing under my head

*Laying down on an unmade bed -- his bed was not made at the time. And also this is kinda weird, if anyone else sits or lays down on an unmade bed I start to feel really dirty.

*Having my legs exposed

I'm sure there are others that I will think of later.


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My Triggers Are:

Harvey Keitel [he did a movie called, "Fingers" and he's abusive to some women in it].

Anyone/anything Iranian [the guy who r@ped me was Iranian].

Most other black men [two black babysitters molested me when I was younger, so I'm into the interracial thing]. Ironically, my parents thought it was safer to trust your own race and they didn't know this was happening while they were away.

Christmas [when the r@pe happened]

When any male points a finger in my face.

Being naked.

The words, "You liked it" in reference to anything.

Being hit upon by anyone, especially men.

Sexual aggression.

Hearing someone's breathing near me.

Being alone around men.

When a man closes a door behind us and locks it.

Every waking moment.

When anyone brings up the topic of sexual harassment/abuse.

Judgement about r@pe survivors.

After I'm aroused, the trigger kills it.

Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson, Timothy Busfield, Scott Bairstow, Jeffery Jones and any other celebrity accused of a sexual violation.

The List will get longer in my head.

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