Lassie Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 (edited) Hi, new here and this is my second post. Hope it's OK to "break in"..... My sister (biological) read a letter I meant for the man who got me pregnant. In it, I revealed to that man that my dad had sexually assaulted me at age twelve. I get a call from my sister, asking if it's true. Yes, I say. Then, YEARS later, I hear this from my sister-in-law: S said that you told her that dad assaulted you when you were 12- is this true? Yes, I say once again. Well S then said that you recanted. What!!??!! I have NEVER recanted. NEVER. In fact, the 12 year old rapes were the ones I actually REMEMBERED. I told her to ask dad about it, which she never did. Then my sister-in-law got into an argument with me about how old I must have been at that time. WHY!!??!! WHAT difference does it make HOW old I had been!!??!! sheesh!! Family!! Edited August 6, 2007 by RoughCollieGirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camellia Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 All these things are outrageous. I am so sorry that people haven't been caring when you needed them. Camellia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurvivingTheStorm Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 (edited) ... Edited August 2, 2008 by Catherine37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sadie Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 A "friend" who knew about my abusive ex talking about a mutual friend going through domestic violence: "I've got no sympathy for her or women like her, they've got nobody to blame but themselves." Refused to apologise, friendship now unsurprisingly very very dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayanna Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 "We can't do anything about it because it happened outside school hours" From one of my teachers when I reported my first sexual assault by a boy in my form- it happened on a weekend at the end of half term holiday in february 1998 and I had reported it the following week. (It didn't occur to me to call the police... I was only 13) "You just need to be more assertive" My year head when I was reporting ordinary bullying early the next school year... it was this comment that prevented me from reporting a sexual assault by ANOTHER boy in my form a few months later in a classrom before the teacher arrived. People are such idiots sometimes. Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blooregardqkazoo Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 "Did you like it?" -- one of my so called friends at Harvard. I was so steaming mad, and I had the message relayed that if he ever wanted to talk to me again, he would apologize. He said he had nothing to apologize for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dalila Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Upon finding out that my stepfather molested me, my mother asked, "Are you sure it wasn't just horseplay?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayanna Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 These came from my dad about my depression... "Don't be so negative" "Don't tell them you're a loony" (Yeah... he was being serious as well...) Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayanna Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Another one from my dad: "Go to work and pretend everything's okay" (Funny, because all I EVER do is pretend I'm ok... d***head!) Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anon E. Muss Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Ooooh, where do I start ???!!! I can so relate to this topic, so here goes: 1.) They (the 2 men who raped me) just did so because they have a mental illness and, rather than eliminating contact with them, you really should help them get through it (ironically, this came from a doctor !)2.) Do you fantasize about being raped by a doctor (Again, from above-mentioned doctor. Needless to say he was one doctor I was not willing to be alone with ever again !!!) 3.) You shouldn't talk about it.... It's kind of like when you're three years old and pooh is all you want to talk about and then one day you grow up and move on. 4.) It's facetious to complain about it ... Do you understand what the word 'facetious' means? 5.) Men have needs 6.) It's not the kind of thing you talk about, though, is it? 7.) (Crying about it...) "Is a bit over the top, don't you think?" 8.) It's none of my business ... He never did anything to me 9.) You can come to our wedding (where your rapist will also be) ... In fact, you don't even have to sit at the same table as him ! .... Also, we're trying to cut back, so maybe you could eat beforehand so we don't have to pay for the extra meal. (Seriously, I'm not joking !!!) 10.)Teenage daughters flirt with their fathers and sometimes, especially if their wives aren't giving them enough attention, the fathers interpret that as an advance and accidentally step over the boundary (Yeah, right !!! "Oops, I accidentally tied my daughter to the bed and raped her" !!!) Aaaah, that feels better !!! Thanks for letting me vent a bit.... Sometimes for me these responses are as hurtful as the rapes themselves. It certainly leaves me feeling very angry at society and ostracized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurvivingTheStorm Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 (edited) ...... Edited November 22, 2008 by Catherine37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matilde Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 By my current therapist.... I was in my 4th date with her, and I told her I didn't do the things she asked me to because I wanted her to know something about me.... So I told her the WHOLE story, not looking at her, crying silently while I did (the tears were there not the sobbing), and after I finished she told me... "Thank you for sharing this childish anecdote about you with me...." Neddles to say I got angry right away, and after that I had the talk with her to fix that term... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cayce Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 ^That's awful! Sorry you had to hear that. I told someone who I didn't know too well (I was drunk. :/) and they said, "Oh, don't pull that one." :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurvivingTheStorm Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 (edited) ... Edited August 2, 2008 by Catherine37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anniemg Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 A guy that was never a friend to being with and that I'm so glad I'm not speaking to anymore, told me this when I told him about the rape: "Well, maybe he had his reasons ..." That was a year ago. Arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallison Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 one of the dumbest things i've heard was from a guy i had been seeing... he wanted to know when i had my first encounter.... then the @%%#$hole actually said that i must have been really cute when i was little... and that it must've felt good.... arg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurvivingTheStorm Posted October 6, 2007 Share Posted October 6, 2007 (edited) sorry, STS, isn't it all r*pe under a certain age??? regardless of a yes or a no? Yeah, it depends on the state as to specific ages but I think here it's under 12 or something...not sure. sorry, this is off topic...although equally stupid. I just found something I had written in the 80's where I quoted my sister as saying to me "all gays should be gassed". that was after I came out to her. nice huh? Oh yeah, lovely. if ok. Edited October 6, 2007 by SurvivingTheStorm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezabelle Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 Apparently, "the world doesn't revolve around me" and I should "stop feeling sorry for myself". This was from someone I really trusted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disconbobulated Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 "It wasn't that bad, people have been through worse." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little_miss_cliche Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 My current boyfriend once said (While I was first talking to him about what happened) that he didn't think I actually WANTED to get over it. He's since apoligised and claimed to feel horrible for saying that but it's never gone away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayanna Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 I've probably posted some of these in this thread already, but here goes... From my now ex boyfriend right after he sexually assaulted me: "I would never force you to have sex. You know that don't you?" "Trust me" (seriously, he said that... the words "f*ck" and "off" come to mind...) From the same guy, after we split up: "I wasn't that bad, I never hit you" (and that makes it ok to sexually abuse me for over 3 years, how?) "Friends don't ignore each other" (friends don't sexually assault each other either) "If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me" (yeah, talk to the guy who caused the problem, sure I'll do that...MORON!) From my mother, when I was still going out with him and trying to politely tell her what he was doing to me: "All men like to touch, you need to grow up" (or words to that effect... and my parents wonder why I never talk about stuff with them) Stesha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurvivingTheStorm Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 (edited) .......... Edited November 22, 2008 by Catherine37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camellia Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 Hayley, I want reinforce that you are right. You have nothing to blame yourself for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_Another_Dreamer Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 A guidence counslor's response to hearing I was raped... "Yeah? So?" another counslor saying it was my fault for because "i'm attractive" and i didn't fight him. after confronting my father for never asking if i was okay after knowing i was abused, and having anic attacks etc for months "oh, you seemed fine to me." my mom regarding childhood abuse- "we knew it was taking place. you were an ornery four year old. you deserved it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pullthepin Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 My grandma asked "Did you enjoy it?" (I was 10!) After my family found out they all said "It's a well-known fact that A. shouldn't be left alone with children". (So why did you leave me with him so often?!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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