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What are your healing ACCOMPLISHMENTS?


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I don;t have any major ones,  but last week, i told my t that i was ready to start moving on to the harder parts of healing.

Im shit scared of whats to come, but i know i have support from mum and dad, and of course here!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest she breathes

some of my healing accomplishments:

i told.

i told again.

i told again.

i demanded that people listen.

i broke the silence.

i talked with my mom and my sister about it.

i recovered memories.

i wrote about it.

i stopped cutting.

i stopped overdosing.

i stopped starving myself.

i stopped wanting to die.

i started taking care of myself.

i started to love my body again.

i stopped getting into abusive relationships.

i got into a good relationship.

i am learning how to say "no".

i try to help other survivours.

i acknowledged my split.

i am getting to know both halves of me.

i am learning to love both parts of me.

i got sad.

i got angry.

i learned to laugh again.

i told my story many times.

i learned to call myself a "survivour".

i am learning how to enjoy sex.

i am learning how to enjoy self-love.

i have admitted that i had rape fantasies.

i am working on ending the shame about that.

i have asked for help.

i keep on living.

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  • 3 weeks later...

i just found this post and as i was reading i realized that i have had many accomplishments... maybe it is time that i see them on paper so to speak... then they'll be more real:

i admitted that it happened

i wanted help

i went to therapy

i got on medication to help me cope

i wrote it all down in a journal

i was honest with myself when i couldn't have sex

i realized i was in an unhealthy marriage and got out of it

i was content to live on my own

i am not afraid of the dark anymore

i don't bathe as obsessively anymoree

i finished college through the worst of the healing process

i am able to spot a trigger coming a mile away and deal with it before it comes

i have a wonderful amazing sex life with my boyfriend and haven't had a flashback since i've been with him while having sex

i may not always see destructive behavior before i do it, but i do immediately following

i have admitted that so many things i do and how i am are directly related to the abuse, and that's okay; it's a part of me. I can either see it as the terrible thing it was, or I can use it to make myself a better person

I have reconciled with my mother by telling her why I was so mad at her for not doing anything.  I even explained why she didn't.

i am not afraid to sleep anymore

i don't fear my body or my beauty as much, although I am still working on this one.

I know there is more; but DAMMIT I have come a loooonnnnggg way!! :) I survived and am doing what i want to do in life that makes me happy.  I don't worry about trying to please men in my life...i worry about me.  I can honestly say that I am happy in my own skin and I know who I am now.  And it was certainly painful... but I made it and I am thankful for all of you who know what it feels like and have validated me.  I am not alone. for those of you that feel like it will never end and the pain will slowly suffocate  you, hang in there, your life will belong to you again... I KNOW :)

Thanks for such an empowering thread and a place to share.

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I have found,now that I have given it thought, that I have accomplished quite a bit:

1) I have begun to be able to see that I was not to blame -- at all and to begin to love myself again.

2) I have begun to be able to stop hating the rapists and the evil system that lets them-- and others-- get by with what they have done.

3) I am beginning to re-realize that when people behave towards someone else, as they have me, they are the ones they truly injure.

4) I am beginning to build a relationship with myself that is truly awesome.

5) I am beginning to give myself permission to heal.

6) I am beginning to realize I deserve to heal.

7) I can now say, "I was raped," without feeling shame for it (most of the time).

8) I now understand what PTSD is and how it affects me, and how to counteract it, at times.

9) I am beginning to see that I have come a long way on the journey of healing, even though I still have a long way to go.

10) I am beginning to realize that rape is a weapon used by some men against women, and not take it personally anymore.

11) I am beginning to see myself truly as the worthwhile person I really am.

12) I am beginning to work on my own healing, by  posting here, by helping and encouragement to others here, as well as receiving help and encouragement from them.

13)I am beginning to work on my own healing by becoming more active in feminist groups, in order to try to improve the situation for women, in general.

14)I am beginning to work on my own healing by making it a priority in my life.

15) I am beginning to work on my own healing through writing, not just a journal but a book to help the cause of women,as well as short stories about rape, as it really is.

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Not many accomplishment... but there are a few that I can think of:

- I started "T" two weeks ago.

- I'm thinking about joining a support group.

- I'm going to tell my boyfriend's mother sometime this


- I can't really say the "r" word yet, but I can type it.

I know that's not many compared to all of you that have responded... but I'm working on it.


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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Shell,

Well today as you know  -  was able to cry uncontrolably,

this is brill for me, thanks Shell

2.  Joined this group

3.  Joined dancing in the darkness

4.  been able to share

Love Catheriine

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  • 3 weeks later...

I learned to enjoy sex again.

I said no to something I didn’t want.

I married a wonderful man.

I told my husband everything.

I can go months without SI.

I’ve said out loud that what he did was wrong.

And what I did wasn’t.

I’m finding my voice.

I refused to let others tell me to ‘just get over it.’

I got angry when a friend asked me why I ‘let that happen.’

I learned to love the beach again.

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Today i told my T i was ready to start talking about what happened in december. MAJOR step cause i havnt been able to handle talking aobut it with her much and i would always push the subject away if she brought it up. but today i brought it up on my own :)


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One more -- I married a man who right now is singing a Sarah MacLachlan song in the shower. He's too cute and I am a lucky girl who has made at least some very good choices.

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  • 2 months later...

I am learning that I am not insane. I am a sane person responding the way anyone would to having been abused in the way I was.

I am learning that I deserve help and love and people want to give it to me.

I am learning it is okay wherever I am right now. My life is a victory!

I am learned how to "make love" as opposed to "be sc****ed". I am learning and experiencing how wonderful taht is.

I am learning to parent myself instead of hating or resenting my parents for what they don't provide. I am learning to get what I need.

I am starting to love myself not for the accomplishments I did but just because I am a person worthy of love.

I am accepting taht teh images I have seen for 15 years when having panic attacks are memories and I am not psychotic.

I am learning how to take care of myself. 0:)

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(((((((((((((Hugs to all)))))))))))))))

Been a while since I came in on this thread - it's great to see all the steps people are taking, me included!!

I've learnt to trust a man and let him into my life. I didn't think that was possible.


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  • 2 weeks later...

My healing accomplishemts have been

1. I finally let go of my secrets and told my story to my T.. well most of it anyway I still have more which i will be doing in my next session on Sunday

2. I finally told my husband I was sexually abused as a child  (He knew I was raped)

3.  I am opening up to my friends and askign for support from them

4. I am learning to let go of the shame and the blame

5.  I am slowly learning neither incident was my fault

6.  I am letting go of the anger and letting myself feel the pain and hurt i never let myself feel before

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  • 2 weeks later...

My healing accomplishment is

I am in Therapy and have shared my story with him.

I separated from my abusive husband

I have reached out to people and been able to share some of my story with them.


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  • 5 months later...

k, Shell has talked me into posting here. Probably b/c she didn't want to boost it again :;):

So, here comes my list of not achieving:

I am trying to be nice and let go of my sarcastic and bitchy parts. Let my guards down that have taken so long to be built up. No longer be evil.

I am trying to no longer minimize what has happened to me. I have tried to say it out loud, but it hasn't worked yet. Oh well.

I have put my picture on my profile page. You can only see half of my face but I am getting there.

I am trying to post again. I am having trouble using my voice, especially concerning anything healing-related.

I am trying to help others. I am currently working on the financing of a project that we are planning, a friend and i are going to Bangladesh and do some social work there (as much as they let us as women anyway).

I have kissed someone and actually liked it without feeling guilty for anything (except that he is going out with a girl from my grade, but that is a different topic).

I am trying to (re-)discover my sexuality.

I am proud of what i have achieved and try to let go of everything i have failed at.

I am trying to put the shame where it belongs.

I have pulled myself out of a huge depression.

I have been eating ok.

I have given up when I thought that was the only way, but come back when I realized that was what I needed (though i still feel silly for that)

I have been honest with myself and others (at least to a certain extent)

Well, I guess that is it for now, I do realize that there is an I am trying in front of every sentence, but I am still working on that.

Thank you, Shell, for this thread and for showing me the way. And of course for the "preaching". You really are great.


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I have a HUGE smile on my face. I am so proud of you!



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  • 2 weeks later...

I dont know why i have finally decided to do this, but here are my healing accomplishments well atleast the ones i can thing of!

fully recovered from my ED

Worked through alot of my memories

fully believe it was not my fault

realise i am not worthless

forgiven my family and abusers

forgiven myself

allowed myself to feel my feelings then move past them

rediscovered the beauty in humanity and the world

learnt to trust again

feel truly grateful for my life and experiences

Know now that i have never let them win

am proud of myself and my achievements

and maybe the last one i can think of

i love and am content with myself :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

I survived.

I got myself into treatment.

I became an active participant in therapy.

I've started talking some about the abuse.

I've started to learn how it was not my fault.

I'm not giving up.

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  • 2 months later...

1. I survived, not just then, but for all the years since.

2. I accomplished so many incredible things in my life, in spite of his attempt to destroy what I was capable of doing.

3. I was able to see that all men weren't horrible and didn't become bitter towards *too* many of them.

4. I have, in part, been able to say "screw it" about other's opinions about it and me.

Biggest so far:

4. I have entered into a journey of being willing to deal with it and work through it.  To me that is the biggest accomplishment so far, because it takes so much courage.


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Shelly, can you believe that i actually voluntarily post in this thread *again*? :;):

*worked through the first 150 pages of The Courage to Heal. Hard but definitely worth it. Only 250 to go lol.

*came out of denial concerning the first assault

*wrote down my story (big one)

*allowed myself to hurt and *cry*

*started to reclaim my life, thought about reporting.

Yay for this thread, and thanks for opening my eyes and making me see my accomplishments, Shell. :)


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  • 2 weeks later...

Wonderful thread.

I have:

found my long lost emotions

allowed myself to cry

graduated from high school and started college

started therapy

told two people the events of that night (my t and best friend)

reached out to others when they need help

learned to ask for help

Many hugs,


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  • 10 months later...

Boosting Shell's beautiful thread.

I learnt how to talk about my feelings. With my T, and even with others. That's one amazing step for me, considering I have never been able to do it before.

(((Shell))) Thank you once more for this thread.


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