Lillyth Posted September 18, 2002 Share Posted September 18, 2002 it seems as though i have already been spoken for -- you guys have mentioned just about all the things i am proud of. but very specific to me, i have agreed to speak to the califonia coalition on sex offending, and share my story with them, and even have an apperance on national televison coming up. even though i am scared shitless, i'm going to do it. and i have found the courage 7 the faith to persue a profession that does not exist, creating it, allowing myself a profession where i can just feel the pain i feel & not have to fight it. and i have found the courage to come back here. i'm not hiding anymore. Thank you, all of you! Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2002 Share Posted September 19, 2002 What have I accomplished? I am facing my fears. I taught myself not to fear thunderstorms. I overcame fear of the dark. I faced claustrophobia - actually more like fear of confinement. I didn't do too well, my whole body shook, but at least I faced it - that's the first step. I was able to keep from shaking when being touched. I taught my dog to shake his head when I say "shake" (instead of giving me his paw). I took a class in woodworking, and made a Bible box & am making other items for family members. Next project is a gun rack, already half done. I did volunteer work at our church's school to make myself get out again. I began to socialize with neighbors instead of staying inside the house all the time, & even held a successful "House and Garden" party when I thought nobody would come. I made a web page to put poetry online for a woman who is dying, in need of a kidney transplant. Gosh, in looking back, I HAVE made some accomplishments. I never sat and thought about it before. THANKYOU for starting this string - it is definitely a healing touch. While these do not look like healing accomplishments, to me they were because they are beginning to create a non-existant self image - so to me they are VERY healing. I have sought counsel (but it didn't pan out). Now I'm trying to make it with help of hubby & thru internet contacts and web sites like this one. They definitely help. I am almost ready to tell "my story" - am still trying to get courage - even in this forum it feels like I'm "going public". I HAVE disclosed to immediate family, my minister and a couple of people on net. (Edited by ItsMeAgain at 1:01 am on Sep. 23, 2002) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stine Posted September 22, 2002 Share Posted September 22, 2002 *I have learned about love, and tried to be open to the fact that not everybody are bad people.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2002 Share Posted September 23, 2002 shameless boosting... there are A LOT of you that I would expect to be posting here and you haven't yet. Come on! You all have come here to Pandys so that is an accomplishment. It doesn't matter how small it is. Come on. Accomplishments may be things that you think have no meaning - you can do it! Love, Shell ( who has probably accomplished annoying the heck out of everyone) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2002 Share Posted September 23, 2002 1. I've learned to face the fact that I was raped 2. I've been in T 3. I know I'm not alone 4. I have learned to forgive on certain levels 5. I learned that I do have more strength then I realized 6. I've been able to reach out to others for help There are probably more accomplishments, but these are the only ones that came to mind right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2002 Share Posted October 2, 2002 BOOSTY WOOSTY I came back to read this since I am having a not so great morning (ok week, well month). I am glad I came back to see what I have done. I am also inspired by what everyone else has done. I know there are more of you who have accomplishments. List them here so you can come back as I have and see them in writing. It's a great feeling. Love, the shameless self-booster (hey, there is no rule against boosting your own thread :biggrin: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 2, 2002 Share Posted October 2, 2002 Shelly, you are an inspiration and you know I love you. You absolutely positively ROCK. (((((sweetie))))) Love, Tashers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenster73 Posted October 2, 2002 Share Posted October 2, 2002 Ok - anything for a bit of peace and quiet!! My achievements: I've learnt that offering someone else helps can be as healing as receiving it. I've told close friends what happened, and not pushed them away afterwards. I've accepted that it was not my fault. I've started horse-riding again (this was a big step!) I've started wearing clothes that make me look and feel good. I've also learnt that trying to ignore a post that challenges you to feel positive about yourself doesn't work!!! I also recently accomplished the ultimate challenge - to eat 3 dry crackers in under a minute - now that was a tough one! Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest golden lady Posted October 3, 2002 Share Posted October 3, 2002 ((((((shell)))))) Thought I'd boost this, just to remind you how special you are. Barbara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2002 Share Posted October 3, 2002 This is such a wonderful thread! It really forces you to think about the positive. I have learned that I really am beautiful. I have discovered purpose in my life, that I am not worthless. I have discovered that, contrary to what I was told, I CAN get a boyfriend, and not only that, but now a fiance, one who loves me more than I ever could have imagined was possible. (((((((((hugs to all))))))))))))) flautist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 11, 2002 Share Posted October 11, 2002 Here I am again...I never go away. :biggrin: Hey Jenster, are you saying I am a pain???? Yes, I am. I have another accomplishment. I posted about my abusive ex in Share Your Story. Come on people! You have all had accomplishments! Love, Shelly the pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenster73 Posted October 11, 2002 Share Posted October 11, 2002 Hi (((Shell))) - you a pain? Never in million years!! Just persistent! I just read your post in Share Your Story - big hugs. Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 The thead that just won't go away... I started talking to my T about the issues with my husband. I haven't told her everything but I have hopefully laid the foundation to open up more about what is going on at home and hopefully can convince my husband to go with me. This is MAJOR because admitting something in my marriage is wrong is enormously difficult for me. Come on - join in. I know some of you have made healing progress recently. Don't make me name you Love, Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 I am knew to healing. At times I don't see my strength. But I know allowing my son's to hold me while I cry is a healing process. Someday I hope to be able to post a list like all of you have posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 - I came to Pandy's and realized that I'm NOT the only one and there are people who know EXACTLY how I feel. - I have realized that no matter how long it's been, it's still okay to cry. - Though I haven't been able to type out my story yet I was able to finally say 'I was raped' - I returned to the same university where it happened and am still taking classes there. It's not much, but it's all I can think of for now. Thanks for the thread Shelly. Melissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 great post! but a tuff one... I have accomplished: -breaking the silence -going to grouptherapy and single therapy -pressing charges and taking the whole thing to court -coming here Thank you for making me see that i indeed have gotten somewhere in my journey. Stay safe and take care ***safe hugz*** //Juli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kaycee Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 ((((((hugs Shelly, and allO|)))) My accomplishments: - started therapy - learned about CSA - treatment for depression - found Pandy's - made some new friends - told story to T, brother, folks here, and recently two my closest friends - continued therapy - starting to believe CSA happened - closer relationship with my daughter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 (((shelly))) Nice thread, thanks! My accomplishments *I made my first close male friend since my ab*se. I trusted him. He didn't live up to that trust all the time. I lived. *I've said that I don't want to discuss things to keep myself safe. *I've started using the word "abuse" to describe what happened to me without stumbling over it. To all my my Pandy's sisters and brothers, you rock! Every list I read here touched me... (((((hugs to all who want them))))) DancingWolfGrrl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Yes, here I am again. Shamelessly self-boosting my own thread. There are a lot of new people here and by coming here they have an accomplishment so I hope they add some. I am also going to add another one. I have let go of the responsibility. I am not at fault for what happened to me. Neither are any of you. It feels so wonderful to say that. Come on now. You all have accomplishments. Every single one of you. Write them here. It feels so good to come back and read my own. It feels great to read about everyone else's too. Love you all (now start responding with those accomplishments!) Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 I still have trouble putting the blame where it belongs, but I am finally convinced that I am not worthless. That's something, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest golden lady Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 ((((((Shell)))))) You boosted this at just the right time for me to list a biggie -- I have connected with the realization that I bear no guilt in my abuse. You are wonderful, sweetie. Barbara (Edited by golden lady at 9:51 am on Nov. 21, 2002) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitten Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) This has turned into a great thread Shelly!! I have some new ones; I realised that my counselling wasn't working, and as of last Tuesday I now have a new Cognitive Therapist, and she rocks! I went back to the place where I was abused in the summer, on the anniversary, and it felt good to be there ten years later. It wasn't until recently that I realised how strong I was to go there. I love myself more, and realise that people don't hate me. I can make friends(even if they're not face to face), and learn to trust people again. Keep up the good work Shelly, keep bullying the quiet ones who won't post! Love you all Kit Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest raqueli Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 My accomplishments: ~I wasn't too embarrassed to ask for help (sleeping in your aunt & uncle's room when you're 22 years old can certainly be embarrassing!) ~I can sleep by myself in the apartment when my roommate is gone. (Not always sleep very well, but I sleep) ~I have invited men--trustworthy, good friends in my apartment and didn't freak out. ~I told a pushy friend that the reason I wanted my anniversary off was personal, and didn't tell him why even when he pushed. B/c I didn't want to tell him. And I stood my ground. ~I stared my rapist down in court--and he looked away. ~I took time off to heal. ~I started work again. That's all for now. raqueli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2002 Share Posted November 22, 2002 ((shelly))) I have told some of my story here.....told my husband and maybe two other ppl about my past........can sleep at home by myself now (most of the time)!! And am not as afraid to be home alone.....those last two were hard ones, but I have tackled them even though there are bad days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilary Posted November 22, 2002 Share Posted November 22, 2002 i don't think i've actually ACCOMPLISHED anything. but i'm still alive and a few close friends know about things that happened. i still have a sense of humor. sometimes. hilary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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