Guest guest Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 Honestly I’m trying to manage school and not just be this miserable person and sometimes it’s so difficult I don’t feel like trying to be a good “survivor” and it’s really hard to be positive and try to recover when you can’t afford the therapy you need. I can’t afford to be a better survivor. I’m just managing the best way I can… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VirginiaW Posted August 21, 2022 Share Posted August 21, 2022 As far as I know the discussion about being a victim or not is a lot about personal preference about the label people use for themselves. I was a victim when I was raped, and for a long time afterwards that label was true for me. However, I do not want to be called that anymore. I prefer being called a survivor because I think I have evolved and have actively worked on getting back what was stolen from me. Being a survivor or a victim is probably just semantics for most, and that’s fine too, but I like that I have taken back a lot of control. And that is something I connect less with being a victim and more with being a survivor. As for the process of healing and moving forward, this is part of it. I do not believe anymore that this will ever end for me, but I am definitely not close to the point where I started as a victim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neither Posted December 31, 2022 Share Posted December 31, 2022 To me I believe the child in me was victim, She didn't know she could speak up bc the adults around her did not listen. i was told that i was a liar and that it didn't happen. Even though its been 23 years since the first time it happened(went on for years). I can remember EVERYTHING to this day. So i spent my time finding ways to push the thoughts in the back of my head. Not realizing how much it would effect me as an adult. Or how much it would bring up when it happened to me again as an adult(2 years ago on new years). As an adult, because i was able to speak for myself, i went to the cops. I attempted therapy but i stopped due to feeling like it made things worse( don't really know if it would have helped) but it took my county 2 years to put a warrant out and arrest the guy who did it even though he messaged me later and admitted to everything, and the cops had copies of this and FULL access to my Facebook for almost a year later. So i didn't do therapy & just like when i was a kid i fixated on things to push it aside. Not seeing what it was doing to me as an adult. I just kept moving on with life, struggling with major anxiety & depression on top of. 2 weeks ago the Cop called me a survivor and then said that the states attorney would be getting ahold of me for victim/ trauma therapy. I have been so fixated on looking at updates on court dates, and trying to do the same thing of fixating on ways to push it out. But now i don't think i can. I finally realized EVERYTHING that happened to me, i lost the person i worked so hard to be, i lost the person i thought was my best friend, sex is out of the picture, i skip out on drinking with friends bc i get anxiety really bad( i don't feel safe with people i should feel around), i haven't had a healthy relationship. I personally hate being called a victim bc i try to be the strong one and act okay, but im not survivor due to the fact that this will always be a part of me, stuck in my brain on rewind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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