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Expected sex


Sim
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Hello! 
I’m new here so I don’t know if I belong to this group. I am hoping to connect with women whose husbands expect/demand sex everyday. I really hope I can find someone who is in this situation or has been. I also hope I have come to the correct place.

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Welcome @Sim You now have access to the full site, so take your time looking around, make yourself at home. You will find many different areas in the site for posting and finding support.

Take care,

Jenny

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  • 3 weeks later...

Welcome 

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  • 8 months later...

I am stuck in this situation. It is unbearable some days. If I try to say I m not in the mood, he usually just takes it anyway and so aggressive and violent that I rarely refuse now.  If I dare to say anything hurts, he accuses me of having "given it to someone else" and that leads to more problems so I don't speak up anymore if he hurts me. I am barely able to find a reason to want to live anymore.  But if you ever need to talk I'm here. 

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@ElaineH welcome to Pandys. This thread is in the public area, and as a new member you now have access to the private members-only areas where you can read and post for support.

Sending care,

Jenny

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  • 4 months later...

Sim, First i want to say Welcome and everyone who wants to be here is welcome to be here and join a cruisade of broken but beautifully healing members. 

When I was going through what your talking about I was quite young and newly married. I had just left behind a nightmare of the childhood I experienced with my step dad. From age 5 til about 13 I had no choice to say yes or no. It was taken from me. 

Although I have been blessed by God's grace my childhood sexual abuse did not leak over into my sexual encounters with a mutuall'y willing partner. I guess I never looked at it as sex when it was taken from me. I didn't make it about sex. It was almost as if he was just twisting my legs or inflicting pain in that sense.. but any way. Feeling like I had my gut full of being a sex mule I was just tired of the action in itself after a while. While that would be a strong indication of marital problems, that hadn't occurred to me at that point. 

All I knew is I was fed up with being pressured / emotionally black mailed / to give into sex. To a wonderful man that had no clue how it was making me feel because he could not relate to my experiences. He just thought it was my duty as his wife to fulfill his desires. Not in a mean way either.

But it definitely was not something that could be ignored because after all we were married. 

Essentially I grew un attracted to this man who later became the father of our 2 sons. 

Also if I had known the best way for me to be successful at a relationship I should have healed myself first but no reason to go there because we are past that now. 

But I had to eventually make the choice to put myself first. After all I had just faked an entire childhood, I was full with faking anything. I had to live a lie as a child I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore. 

The divorce was painful and there was no winners in any of it, well I guess there were. We couldn't make a marriage work but we both still had a job to do together as parents and we made an awesome Co parenting team. So our boys were blessed to have us both in there lives, and we now have two sons ages  29 and 32. And between them we have 4 grandkids and one on the way.  We spend most holidays together all as a family as my boys dad and I are both currently single so it works out. 

But I don't fake anything any more, now I couldn't fake a smile if I had to! 

It is liberating to just be me. Any person you choose to be with should respect you enough as a person and not as property or your duty to serve their needs. 

Not gonna say it's easy to do, it may require you to become self supportive to end a bad situation but the freedom and self respect you will gain in the end is worth its weight in gold. 

I hope this helps. Please don't ever feel like you don't have choices and don't ever place yourself in danger at the advice of others.  Perhaps meditating or praying will bring the answer that is right for you, 

Good luck and please take the time to search over this forum as its got a wealth of resources and wonderful people to reach out to that are here just like you and I are.  

Good luck on your journey, hope this helps in some way.

Be blessed! 

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