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for those who didn't call it rape


Guest choirgirl
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There is nothing at all to make light of here. This was a sexual assault, traumatic indeed.

You will be very welcome if you want to sign up here as a full member. Then you will be able to access all the forums.

Take care,

Jenny :metoyou:

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That sounds very scary to me. You just described the situation well, and the tonic immobility is so normal and natural in that situation. I hope you do decide to get an account here and talk with others who have been through the same sort of assault. You never deserved that sort of attack. I am so sorry that happened to you. Do know that healing is real and a possibility for you. Sending you peace and hope, Patricia

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  I know clothes were on…but he did it very violently still and it was ….hard…deep but a different…private area though that was just humiliating and …he was hard so... and it forced my body to react for too long to the point of actual pain. I have body flashbacks of it now. But because it was a different area I get treated like it was nothing. And they’re very uncomfortable and painful…and the flashbacks and nightmares are humiliating and terrifying. Sex and Rape scenes trigger me though I know it wasn’t that but he did it really roughly…hard…literally leaning completely on me…but also no one understands how horrible it actually was. They assume it wasn’t violent n don’t get how severe it really was…

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  It was non penetrative sex but leaning on me aggressively like that it was like he was mimicking exactly that…violent non penetrative sex…and then yeah basically using my body but a private area …roughly…rubbing on it…to get off get my body to react against my will as many times as he wants while I’m frozen in terror and he finishes on me but over clothes…and I felt like I left my body…and no one understands how terrifying that is and humiliating and embarrassing. I was afraid he’d do exactly that after from what he did…because it was clear he wanted to do that after that. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/11/2016 at 10:22 AM, photo_girl01 said:

I'm still not 100% sure it was rape but i want to cry everytime I think about it. I said no. But I stopped saying no after while. I gave up. I didn't know what to do, I was scared, I liked him. He made me feel guilty. I don't know how to cope with this...

  You said no and if you were scared and made to feel guilty, so you weren’t freely agreeing and that’s not consent. He should’ve respected that you didn’t agree and said no. Not guilted you into anything no one has any right to guilt you. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest JEWEL428

I don't believe i was raped, but i was also sexually abused in a relationship for 5 years. I didn't know at the time the correct verbiage and i certainly never thought my boyfriend could sexually abuse me - i mean he was my boyfriend, right? It was always something different. Making me feel bad, telling me we should break up if i don't do this with him, telling me that he can help me want to, and then he just stopped asking and would just start. I just thought i had to do it for him if i loved him. I never dreamed that he was abusing me at the time. My whole life would be different if only i knew..

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There are so many times in our lives that we "don't know what we don't know".  You can't hold yourself accountable for that either.  This isn't your fault and you were in his thrall and control.  He's the one at fault here because you never did that to someone you loved our care for at any time ever.  He's the rapist and this is all on him.  I'm sorry this happened to you.

  You can have a free account here at Pandy's and beer with many people here who understand.

Patricia

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  • 3 months later...
Guest Aly

I’ve never read the book but as soon as I heard the title I related. I was in a manipulative and abusive relationship and he would make me believe I would “drink too much and take xanax or get roofied on purpose.” I remember having flashbacks of moments we were having sex and I don’t remember at all. It wasn’t until one day I woke up with a text from my roommate asking if I’m okay and if she needs to intervene, with a bloody nose, and naked next to my abused and boyfriend at the time. We need to reevaluate the term “consensual sex” because some people don’t seem to understand, including myself at the time. 

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