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What do you like about Pandys?


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People believe me. You have no idea how much that means after being told over and over that I was lying about being abused.

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- I feel safe when I'm on Pandy's, it's a place I retreat to when things are really bad, or I'm confused or scared, or panicky.

- There are so many people who can relate to what I'm feeling or experiencing

- It's a part of my safety plan that I can access almost anywhere in the world if I need it.

- It's a good supplement to the work I'm doing in T. -- they go hand in hand together

- I have no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed when I'm on Pandy's.

- It's the only place besides in counselling that I can be myself and let my mask come off.

- I don't feel crazy or stupid for the things that I'm experiencing.

- It's the only place besides counselling that I can talk about my experiences or the way I'm feeling - even though I haven't been able to tell any parts of the story

- I don't feel judged.

- There's so many safe hugs :)

- It doesn't matter how young or old you are, everyone's truly welcomed at Pandy's.

- It's so well-run and the Mods do an amazing job of keeping us safe

- I feel supported here

I know there's tons more but that's my list for now.



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  • 1 month later...

It is so wonderful to have this place to turn to anytime of day or night.

I am not glad that we've all experienced SA, but I'm glad we've found each other.

People understand.

The moderators keep it well-organized and safe.

It is just a wonderful gift!

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Many of the things that have been said already...

It is my safe haven.

It is grounding because Pandys has become familiar over the years... whatever else has gone on or wherever I have been... Pandys has been there constant in the background.

24 hours a day.... so if I am struggling at night when people aren't around irl... there's a place to go.

I know I won't be judged.

People here *get it* in a way that many people irl don't seem to.

I don't feel like a freak for my thoughts and feelings and reactions. I have learned they are common in survivors and I'm not "crazy" for it.

There are people here all various stages in their healing journeys and so there is inspiration as well as relating. I see how people can and do heal and make good lives for themselves.

I get to "test run" expressing things in T, things I am scared or ashamed to say, I can post it here first as an interim step.... and learn that the world doesn't end if I tell. And there are people who understand, and people who have experience the same or similar.

There are all sorts of different people here. Different countries, faiths, experiences, interests, talents, ages, points of view, so I get a wider sense of possibilities and how it is okay to be an individual and everyones path and healing are unique.

I can be distressed and not have well-meaning people trying to quickly "cheer me up" but who are willing to sit with me in the rough times and offer gentle support. I don't have to pretend.

I am reassured that what I feel and go through is "normal" and bad phases don't mean I am going backwards.

Gives me an alternative to the harsh and unhealthy views around me irl. Helps to counter the negativity and nastiness around me.

I don't know how to put it.... but I have always found Pandys to be a place of optimism and healing, rather than a consolidation of pain (happens in some forums)

Though that sounds hypocritical given how negative and pessimistic I have been at times in the past!


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Every single little bit of this place I love! - I second everything that has already been said before myself because it is all so very true.

I'm so glad that I have been able to be a member here and give back to this community by being part of the staff.

I love how everyone here is always so supportive and understanding. Here I feel like I can be myself without having to pretend.

This place has shown me that I am much more than I thought I ever was and has create friendships that will last forever.

I'm sad that a place like this has to exist and by being part of team welcome I seee how many people pass through the pandys doors - but if any of those new members get/find just the smallest bit of what I have by being here, then I'm so happy that we can all find support and comfort and make it through all of this together.

Endless love and support to all of you out there :)


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I'm sure I'll repeat some of the things already said.

What do I like about Pandys?

I like how open, welcoming, and generous the people here are.

I like how organized the moderators have made it and how they keep us safe.

I like that I can ask for help, for a hug, for comfort.

I like that someone will admit that they are confused, that they can't relate but care, that they are thinking of you.

I like that people reach out. They read your posts and send you a hello, let you know you can vent.

I like that we give support even when we are struggling.

I like that the things you voice, your pain, your struggles, help me with my healing.

I absolutely love that we are all working together to give each other some of the safety and comfort that was taken from us.

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I like that:

we're a community where the shine has come off that word sometimes these days.

people at Pandys rarely make assumptions, which I think helps everybody to heal and find their own way.

there's such a generosity of spirit and that folks are very friendly here, and that even with loss or pain we reach out and quietly hold each other.

there's a lot of respect for everybody here, no matter circumstances.

Pandys is in a constant state of flux so that there's always something to get into no matter what your mood or stage of recovery or whatever.

there is openness and acceptance here.

Pandys is fun!!


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I can do this already. I like that as soon as I joined there were people welcoming me and letting me know that I’m not alone. They answered my questions and gave me suggestions. Also, there was no pressure to say anything I didn’t want to. I knew I wasn’t alone and was with supportive people. Once I started reading posts I saw so many stories I could relate to in some way. And I’ve been a member for about 3 days…

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I discovered Pandy's only a few days ago, but I have been very impressed so far. The impression I got from the very beginning was how gentle and tender this site is. I feel very comfortable here already. and it feels safe, too.

I also was very touched by receiving personal e-mail welcome letters from some of the moderators. The beginning line of the site homepage is very moving: "We're sorry you need to be here..." How kind and thoughful a way to welcome people.

Needless to say, I'm grateful, and looking forward to sharing and receiving many healing moments.

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I like the feeling of being safe, the openess of our discussions and the honesty of our members. Thanks all! :yay:

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- Acceptance

- Being able to speak my truth without being judged

- Understanding

- Support from people who don't even "know" me

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It let's me know there are other people who know my pain and can comfort me when I feel like there is no one there to hear out my cries. I have only been here for a couple of day, and I feel home, so thanks to all for accepting me for who I am...you all are the best.

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I like having a space that is just for us. I don't have to worry about how someone will react. I can just be myself. I also like to see that other people have the same kinds of problems that I have (well, I don't like that many people experience this) but I like that I'm not so alone in my experiences. I also like the kindness and support that I see here everyday.

-sayit :butterfly:

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am both sad and happy that I am not alone. I wish no one ever had to deal with this! However, because this does happen, it is nice to know I am not the first person who ever went through this. Sometimes, I read other people's posts and I feel like they describe my pain or situation word for word. I am almost in disbelief when I realize that these situations produce almost the same emotions no matter who it happens to! The reactions seem so similar! I feel abnormally normal (if that makes sense!) Thank you all for being brave enough to share your stories and feelings. It helps so much!

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What initially attracted me to Pandy's was that the moderators here don't force people into identifying only as female or male when they sign up here, which is helpful to me, as many others, I'm sure.

Since then, I've met a lot of sincere, kind, helpful people -- people who have the compassion it takes to help me and the openness it takes to ask me to help them. I feel very supported here. What could be more important in a support forum?

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It's just safe. I never thought a site could feel just a safe as a physical place. I have a few 'safe' places in my life, and Pandy's is one of them. I log on and I can just exhale and know that this can be okay. I can be okay.

The best rape support board I've found on the web.

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I like the fact that I can be completely honest, type and say exactly how I feel and no one judges me, infact sometimes people even say they feel the same way. That makes me feel like maybe I am normal after all.

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From the brief time I have spent here I couldn't agree more with what has already been said!!

Being here is so inspirational on so many different levels....so glad I found this place!! :hug:

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  • 1 month later...

I don't feel so alone in my struggles here. I also like that for the days that I don't feel like I can talk face-to-face or when that isn't available, I can post here online, and get amazing support. I feel empowered by coming here often. I also feel like I'm able to give back the support I recieve by supporting other members of Pandy's during their tough times, and I love feeling like I have helped someone feel not so alone in their struggles.

I'm sure there is a lot more, but those are the things that come to mind right now.

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