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Top 10 Stupidest Comments


Jes

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I'm so sorry about some of the idiotic comments you have all had to endure! I've heard a lot of these myself. I think the one that got me the most though was said by my mother when I was 17, after I'd begun to experience triggers as panic attacks for the first time:

"Well you need to get that shit under control. No one has time for that kind of turmoil right now."

Needless to say, my mom and I lost touch after I left for college.

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My mother once told me in response to the topic of my CSA by my father, "I just don't understand why he chose you over me."

Soooo... You're jealous? Thanks ma! Nothing has ever made me feel so dirty.

I faced something very similar! My mother grew very resentful toward me after she found out about my step father's sexual abuse. She would say how she didn't feel pretty enough, or talk about how much more interested in me he was than her, instead of considering that he was a sick rapist who enjoyed abusing young girls. In her mind, I "stole her man." After he left, she told me, "he made me feel inadequate. What he did to me was much worse than what he did to you."

How do people even think that way? I thought my mother was the only one. I'm so sorry you had to experience this too.

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Tear_stained336

My mother once told me in response to the topic of my CSA by my father, "I just don't understand why he chose you over me."

Soooo... You're jealous? Thanks ma! Nothing has ever made me feel so dirty.

I faced something very similar! My mother grew very resentful toward me after she found out about my step father's sexual abuse. She would say how she didn't feel pretty enough, or talk about how much more interested in me he was than her, instead of considering that he was a sick rapist who enjoyed abusing young girls. In her mind, I "stole her man." After he left, she told me, "he made me feel inadequate. What he did to me was much worse than what he did to you."

How do people even think that way? I thought my mother was the only one. I'm so sorry you had to experience this too.

I'm sorry you had to experience this type of thing too. My mom comes off like she hates me sometimes involving the subject & often acts like she's more of a victim than I was. It's such a terrible feeling.

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This comment was from my cousin after i offered to baby sit her children when her baby sitter didn't turn up, i was only 10 years old at the time

"people like you shouldn't look after kids because people like you always end up as rapist"

i was shocked in to disbelief..

This comment was from my father after i comforted him around July 07 just before i moved to Birmingham to escape him for the last time also the last time i ever saw him.

Me: Dad why did you rape as a child?

Dad: i am sorry... but it was the best years of my life?

i was totally shocked and afraid of him so many mix feeling of anger.

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I was abused when I was a child by my cousin. I repressed it and lived in denial that it affected me in anyway, I mean I didn't have nightmares or flashbacks or panic attacks so that MUST mean I wasn't affected (that's what my twisted view of things were at that age)

Anyways when I was around 14/15 we were at a family reunion and being plus size it's rare for me to wear something that I feel good about and feel pretty. That day I did. When we were organizing to leave my cousin (prep) said that he wished what used to go on long time was still going on. I was confused as to what he was talking about (though I never forgot what happen just bits and pieces) I just didn't think he would say anything about it. He then proceeded to say 'i don't know if u have any mental problems about what happen but I really wish it was still going on'

I was so stupidefied

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from my ex because i can't do certain things due to my R - 'i shouldn't have to suffer for what someone else did to you'

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heroescre8heart

theorangeone, I am so sorry. That is wrong. Compassion involves feeling for those we care for, and you deserve compassion. You deserve (and will find) so much better.

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My stepfather is my abuser. He's been abusing me ever since I was 12 and I am now 23 and it is still happening. When I was still very young I didn't have the courage to say anything to him. Now that I am more grown up I gathered the guts to tell him a piece of my mind a few times. When I told him that he ruined my life and messed up my brain he said, "Why? I don't get it. I am not your real father. I'm just a man. I am not your biological father."

So any man that isn't related to us by blood can rape us and there's no problem, right asshole?

And another one he said a few times..."See me as your boyfriend. I could've been your boyfriend if I wouldn't have met you through your mother." First of all the idiot is over 20 years older than me so he could have never been my boyfriend and second of all, for Christ's sake, he's my mother's husband, is not like we met through some common acquaintance. He made me his whore, he made me the other woman, he made me be the woman my mother is cheated on with. And he tells me what's the big deal, see me as your boyfriend...WTF?!??

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Sorry you went through that abuse with the step father Indyana. He sounds like a d@ckhead...rationalising his abusive behaviour. sorry....but felt I had to say that.

Edited by TinaL
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germainemarie

He's sick & twisted & they was an incredibly stupid things to say!

I'm so sorry Indyana :(

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Thanks guys. Your support means a lot to me, especially since I am having a really bad day today. He is a d!ckhead Tina, no reason to apologize. He is just evil.

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D (my H), 8 months of trying to repair from his betrayal, he tends to be passive aggressive and knows (almost 22 years) how to cut me to the core...

"When we have good days, that doesn't carry over, it lasts such a short time, you don't retain that mood, but when i pull a bone headed move, it lasts for days, you need to not let my bone headed moves wipe out all the good."

:blink: (i was diagnosed with PTSD and a alphabet soup associated with it)

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So frustrating that your husband doesn't get it, Tracerracer. It's not like we want to be hypervigilant, to suffer flashbacks and nightmares, or be role playing zombies for days after we're triggered...like it's fun or something. Though maybe - sometimes the numbness is a relief.

((((hugs))))

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Wish i could find 'numb' more some days........ Thanks, i appreciate your comment... Start T with him on Monday, we'll see............

hug.gifhug.gifhug.gif

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"if you had only listened to me about what kind of a guy I thought he was , that wouldn't have happened"

or the incredible "but your taller and bigger than him , he couldn't have forced you"

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I've had to suffer my family's inane comments about SA for two weeks now, so here's the latest from my mom: "there's no such thing as rape nowadays, because women are standing in line for men, begging them to be raped." Holy cow, what!??

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  • 3 weeks later...

I think the stupidest question someone asked me after me telling them I had been raped, was: were you date raped or forced?

I was so angry I was shaking..like a "date rape" isn't forced? I was asking for it or something? People can be so insensitive.

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  • 1 month later...

I feel like a lot of people don't know what to say and say the wrong thing. The worst experience I had was telling a guy I was hooking up with that I'd been raped by my ex-boyfriend and one of his friends. The guy's response: "Well, you probably deserved it". I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone since...what if they say the same thing? Or something worse?

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. The worst experience I had was telling a guy I was hooking up with that I'd been raped by my ex-boyfriend and one of his friends. The guy's response: "Well, you probably deserved it".

That is awful!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a horrible thing to say.

I can think of a few things that he "deserves" after saying something like that...

Edited by Hellothere
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  • 1 month later...

I tried telling a friend, but I don't think he was paying attention very well.

He ended up saying, "I'm glad you're finally opening up sexually."

I'm sorry, what?

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At some point, you have to stop living in the past.

I thought you liked it rough.

You know, it really hurt my feelings that you just laid there, it's like you weren't into it at all.

Duh, everyone who's into bdsm does it because they were abused.

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  • 3 weeks later...

oh, I forgot the classic one (this bugs me in any case, but especially this one):God does everything for a reason -and- He'll never give you more than you can handle.as if that's supposed to make everything all better...

1. Thank you for the quote. It keeps me from having to write it again.

2. People say they don't want to know and they change the subject.

3. You have been meeting with your psychologist, once a week for 6 years now. Are you trying to milk it for all it's worth.

4. Forgive, forget and walk away from the memories.

5. People have been through worse.

6. What you went through can't be that bad

7. Why are you gun shy around men. You should be over it

8. Your blowing it all out of proportion. You're over dramatizing.

9. That can't be true. They are there to protect you. Firemen and paramedics gang raped me. I think I would of know.

10. All daddy's do that

Edited by Colleen
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Oh Colleen, I am so very sorry that all those people said such hurtful things to you. That is awful :( ((safe hugs)) if okay? People don't realize what they say can be so damaging sometimes, I just wish they did know so that kind of hurt wouldn't happen. I'm so very sorry again. I have had some variation of those phrases over the years, so I guess I get that feeling.

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