Jump to content

Is it rape if...?


Brehiri
 Share

Recommended Posts

 Is it kinda rape if he penetrates through your shorts with…his erection after thrusting through them and forces your body to react many times while you’re frozen lifeless and then…ugh finishes to the forced reactions? What if he’s kinda…doing the thrusting hard even though it’s on a different private part what if it hurts and he’s being aggressive and leaning on that part completely…And he’s being very rough with the thrusting and …rubbing a different part of your vagina…while getting on top of you… (I froze in shock and fear when he got on me suddenly felt crushed and went into tonic immobility as soon as the thrusting started and I couldn’t move n just dissociated mentally n emotionally…). He knew I didn’t have any experience…

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Idk I was told in many states it is but because it was through clothes…even though that’s still a body part….he still purposely went through my shorts to put it on that part…I can’t call it that. If I say assault though people usually just assume it couldn’t have been aggressive n maybe he meant it romantically n it’s very insulting. It was still aggressive even violent n I was terrified for my life and disgusted. If I say assault not that it matters it’s all relevant n traumatizing we all deserve to heal n be heard, but then people assume what happened n it happened 100 times worse than they think…

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  Tbh…it was physically abusive. I was in a sexually abusive relationship. It only happened once but it was terrifying. It was humiliating and painful so much that I left my body. That’s why I don’t like calling it that. Nothing sexual about it. At least…that did not at all seem to be just what it was about based on how it happened… it was like he was getting as close he could to yeah…raping me. He just thrusted (roughly…) on a different part n leaned on a different part getting on me n hurt me in a different way n TOOK BREAKS n looked for where to…do it again so I felt it…until he was done. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

   I mean no disrespect to what anyone else went through. But I can’t always relate really to other assault survivors…and some parts of it was different…and longer…than that. And if I say it was assault people usually just go oh he was trying to be romantic n downplay it. Nope. I still feel like he used me…and really didn’t care what he had to do to do that. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your terminology is yours, no questions asked. How each survivor defines their experience is up to them. Finding a definition can be helpful though. 

Sending care,

Jenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

My husband broke me down to the point that toward the end of our marriage, I was so exhausted and scare that I feigned enthusiastic consent so he would leave me alone. But there was always the pressure of being coerced the next day or even the next hour. Thank you for saying this. Thank you for helping me to stop downplaying what happened to me even though he never physically forced himself on me. Thank you so much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
Guest Mikasa

I just want to share my story because I never fully shared my story to anyone because I was afraid of being judge. It was this girl cousin she is 1 month older than me we were young, I didn’t know much stuff about sexual activity or even thought about it but she did and was curious. She found this book in her parents room about different sexual positions and she proceeded to try it with me. Every weekend she will ask me to spend the night I always tried to say no and make an excuse but she will go ahead ask my parents if I’m allowed and parent will alway say yes because they thought quality time with my cousin will be good. Every time I was with her she will always suggest to play mom and dad and I always try to pick a different game but she always end up getting her way it was innocent at first we will go “shopping” and “cooking” and then she tell me it’s time for sleep then that’s when she will lay with me and then touch my body and kiss me. I was a kid and this started to become my new normal. it was like routine with this game. Every time she got my parents to say to stay over she chose the same game and it didn’t think it was wrong until we got older she still wanted to play the same game. I felt scared I felt gross while she was on top of me humping me but I didn’t know what to say.  It end up stopping when we got high school but I feel like this situation confuse me like it’s not rape because we were the same age and I didn’t do or say anything and also I feel like this situation caused me to be confuse about my sexuality because I grew up thinking that was normal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry she did that to you, Mikasa. Many of the reasons you questioned whether it was abuse or not were similar to so many of us here. I can understand why this experience would make you question everything. You are welcome to sign up for membership and perhaps find some support for what you went through. :metoyou:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
blondie2002

There's no judgement here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Ale

Hi,

I found this website. I'm still confused about what happened a few days ago and needed to share it with someone that does not know me. 

I went to a festival with 3 friends (2 men and 1 woman). I drank too much, even my friends say I couldn't stand. When we got home, I remember I wanted to take a bath. I was alone in my room, the room has their own bathroom, so I guess I closed the door. Next thing I remeber was one of my "friends" getting out of bed, like he was on top of me and I was without pants. I don't remember anything I have a blackout of 4 hours apporx, I just remeber that moment that I was semi-naked in which I thought what happened? 

Next day I woke up sore, my hole body hurt as if I had excercised, with bruises on my legs and arms; the rest of my clothes were arranged in a way that I did not remember. I was in shock, very confused of what happened because I knew that I didn't want any sexual contact with anyone, I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and I adore my boyfriend.

I was embarrassed to tell the other friends what had happened that night but I asked how we got the house and they told me that it was possible that I got the bruises because I fell several times on the way home. I asked what we did and they said that we were all in our rooms (separate rooms) and they confirmed that I said I would take a bath before bed. Later the other friend wrote me and I saw that night he had sent me messages asking if I was okay and I never replied to them. This confuses me a lot because I'm sure I didn't invite him to my room and I don't really know what happened. He says that we were both very drunk with a "lot of energy", I didn't want to ask him anything, I felt sick and mad. My other friends saw me very drunk, why would he think I had a lot of energy? 

I feel ashamed, I think it's my fault for having drunk so much. I'm afraid to tell my boyfriend because I don't want him to think that I cheated  on him. I really didn't want that to happen and the idea of this being  sexual assault or rape makes me so sad...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ale, I’m so sorry that happened to you. No-one can consent if they’ve had too much to drink, and this guy may deep down know that, and be trying to cover his tracks. You did not cheat on your boyfriend, as you could not consent.

If you want, you can join us as a member, which will give you access to the members only part of the forum.

In care,

Jenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...